donald trump

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Now Don Lemon, I’m Really Happy for You, and Imma let you finish, but….

Man this orange piece of shit is really blowing the life out of us collectively, literally and figuratively.  Scan any form of social media or terrestrial media and at any moment you will definitely find someone cursing this shit out his name and wishing his mama had used him to style her weird assed hair ala Mary in the movie that had us wondering just what that something was about her. So yeah, I’m sure we can agree, that you, as a Myalogist and me being Mya, that that piece of drug addled mental illness wrapped up in a 300lb bag of pus, that naker ain’t shit.  So to witness so many folks getting all wet in their nether regions over Don Lemon’s most recent take down of dump was no big surprise.  He literally does it every night. Anytime someone goes at Donny, especially those visible ones of a particular hue, the deck aka Black Twitter goes up. So for my less than current frands here’s (briefly) what Don Lemon had to say bout his name twin… What is it about President Obama that really gets under your skin? Is it because he’s smarter than you? Better-educated? Made it on his own, didn’t need daddy’s help? Wife is more accomplished? Better looking? I don’t know, what is it, what is it about him? That he’s a black man that’s accomplished being president? That he punked you on the whole birth certificate thing?What is it about him? Just wondering.” Don Lemon with zero fucks left.pic.twitter.com/kbC0zghhzB — Brian Tyler Cohen (@briantylercohen) May 4, 2020 This was in response to a not very well publicized town hall event dump held on Sunday at the Lincoln Memorial, hosted by Fox News.   Feeling the abject coldness he’s experiencing due to the loss of his vaunted rallies and reeling from the sting of the public rebuke of his daily pressers, dump sprung into action and arranged this town hall that, honest to god…wasn’t as bad as you think.  It contained video questions submitted by a good sample of the population.  It def contained some psychophants.  And it also featured tired weary black folks, but it was the person I’m about to speak on next that deserves the Beyoncé treatment the title of this post brings to mind, spoken by he who will no longer be named. So a meemaw appears on the screen and began with this opening salvo: “President Trump, my husband and I thank you, your family and your staff for your great dedication to our country.  We pray for you every day…” Before I could even get the blunt up to my lips, the words “this bitch” escaped them, but then she went on….. “The question I have is about your manner and presentation…..” I then inhaled and listened further. “Why do you use descriptive words that could be classified as bullying? I blew that shit out and continued paying attention. “And why do you not answer questions that are asked to you by the press, but instead speak of past successes and generally ramble?” I then went back and hit the record button cuz I knew this moment had to be captured for posterity.  SHIIIIIIIID, yall put the Ether beat under Don’s distract….well what the hell song does Karen’s meemaw deserve? HIT’EM UP?   Y’all, this was the moment I’ve dreamt of every fucking journalist who crosses that White House briefing room having.  WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU RAMBLING?!  Speaking of rambling….you know that’s just what he did in his Palinesque manner of answerif we calling it that.  “That was a great question, but was it really a great question?”I felt absolutely no need to record his response, just know it was stupid and talked about bare cabinets and cupboards.   Now you may be asking yourself, Mya? Why does this “trump” Donnie L.’s video? And my answer is simply this…..this represents an awakening of minds in our post Barack “science is for losers” society. This woman can pray for and laud this absolute festering oozing sore of a male and still hold him accountable, something his magites have been unable to do and FOR ME, Im holding out a glimmer of hope for you, me, yours and ours. His reign of ineptitude can end this November. So yeah, now Don, I’m really happy for you, and Imma let you finish, but Karen’s meemaw had one of the best questions of this orange rotten jack o lanterns entire presidency……

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Passa Scott & the 3 Lil Top Gang Thugs

Hello to you on this first day of Black History Month and the early days of the Apocalypse.  Last evening, I sat down to write a love letter to Oprah, and her impact on my young black life, which I intended to finish and publish this morning, until 9:45am.  What happened at 9:45 ante meridian, you ask?  Good Question, Myalogists. Porangetus Donald Trump held a Black History Month Meeting with all of his colore-, I mean coo-, I mean darki-, I mean black supporters.  MAN O MAN, did it not disappoint.  With his Negro Bed Wench ‘Rosa by his side, Porangetus basked in the darkness of all HIS people, tho Diamond and Silk were conspicuously absent.  They were likely greasing the scalp of the newly revived Frederick Douglass, as he sat on the east lawn pondering exactly what was the hair-like substance atop the heads of the young gals servicing him.  And why they were so loud.  I digress, Trump was up there just a smiling and laughing with his supporters, who proudly rattled off their names and titles.  It was miraculously barftastic. Then it came yall.  IT CAME.  The moment where my mouth literally dropped open. With the biggest shit eating grin,  Darrell Scott, pastor of New Spirit Revival Center and BLACK TRUMP SUPPORTER, introduced himself to as much thunderous applause as 20 self hating negroes can muster.  Yall know Passa Scott.  He is the negro that got up at the RNC and proved he is 1. a staunch supporter of #alternativefacts and 2. an utter disgrace to his race.  His comments this morning at the Black History Month “little breakfast, little get together”  showed that he has no current plans to stop being either of those things. Apparently Passa Scott who resides in Ohio,  was alternafactually contacted by “some of the top gang thugs in Chicago, for a sit down.” The rest you must see for yourself.   President Trump and Darrell Scott on Chicago. pic.twitter.com/z83487FOXJ — Christian P. Bryant (@BryantCP) February 1, 2017 I have questions. First, have you ever heard such fuckshitery? Who hit you up, Darrell?  Mad Dog?  Huggy Bear?  Ozone?  Stone?  Robert? Chi-raq?  Cyclops? Tell us. You say they reached out to you, because they are apparently so concerned about all of the crime committed by themselves and their friends,  that they want to have a sit down WITH YOU to talk about lowering it.  Can’t they just do that on their own without talking to you? If they agree to lower the body count, then Porangetus will send in additional resources in the form of social programs? WAIT.  Did you just tell us that we have to help ourselves before anyone else will help us? “Couple weeks” you will be here in Chicago for the parlay (use that term, when you talk to them, it will solidify your downness.)  Isn’t the carnage dire enough for you to come now instead of meeting with Porangetus? They wanna work with him.  They believe in him.  They didn’t believe in Barack.   You know what the lie detector determined about those three statements right? FUCK OUTTA HERE, FAM. Updated:  Apparently DOCTOR Scott was a lil loopy from a lack of sleep.  He told a local Chicago news outlet that a lack of sleep caused him to tell President Trump that Chicago gangs had offered to “lower the body count.” He said he actually spoke to one former gang member, and not to any gang leaders. ONE Former. NOT TO ANY GANG LEADERS. http://www.fox32chicago.com/news/local/233182412-story FAM DIDNT I TELL YOU OUTTA HERE?

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Myalogy Media: Michael Eric Dyson

Hey Guys, yesterday I got a chance to sit down with one of America’s pre-eminent scholars, the Good Reverend Doctor Michael Eric Dyson. We talked bout: his utter dismay at the election of Porangetus Crime in Chicago If BARACKO did enough for black folks Hamilton     and I saved my hardest hitting question for last, after learning he dedicated his new book, Tears We Cannot Stop: A Sermon to White America, to The Knowles Ladies, I had to ask…. Lemonade or A Seat at the Table…. Watch him try it!

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UnKANstitutional

I was reading a Vulture article today about why Kanye wasnt invited to the infauxguration.  I think very little of this current iteration of Ye, which saddens me a bit.  I’m a fan of his music, his early struggle and his declaration of Bush 43’s lack of concern for black people.  Then, well y’all saw the decline, so I ain’t gotta repeat it.  I just ain’t a fan right now and I think he could use some time in an Auburn Gresham bungalow that still has a tiki bar, one red light and an ever present card table in the basement.  But I really wanted to know why he was not invited since he was the first negro Porangetus™ invited over to his golden tower to discuss multi-cultural issues.  Surely, this great friend of his and someone who would have voted for him (if his black ass voted), should be on dat world stage.  But alas, it is not to be.  When Tom BArRaCK, the chairman of the Presidential Inauguration Committee, was asked by CNN’s Erin Burnett if Kanye was gonna perform, Ol Tom said the following: “We haven’t asked him.  I mean he’s been great. He considers himself a friend of the president elect, but it’s not the venue.  The venue we have for entertainment is filled out, its perfect.  It’s gonna be um, typically and um, traditionally American and um Kanye is a great guy – we just haven’t asked him. And we move on with our agenda.” WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIT.  Waaaaaaaaaait.  Wait. JUST ONE DAMN MINUTE WAIT. “We haven’t asked him.” – And why the fuck not?  He was the first nigga you invited over for coffee, proving brother Malcolm’s point.  “I mean he’s been great.” – Really?  What has he done that y’all consider so great? Trying to match his current hair color to Porangetus’s?  “He considers himself a friend of the president elect…” – HE CONSIDERS HIMSELF?  Porangetus doesn’t consider Ye his boy back?  That’s some Real Housewives of Atlanta level shade right there.   “…but it’s not the venue.” – Well what the fuck is the proper venue?  On your lawn? Dressed in red and white, wearing a jaunty cap?   “The venue we have for entertainment is filled out, its perfect.”  – Jennifer Holliday/Chrisette Michelle/Lil White Girl/Springsteen Cover Band/3 People Whose Songs I Dont Know/FloRida>Kanye West.  Fine. Perfection indeed. “It’s gonna be um, typically and um, traditionally American…” – I gotta be honest, I don’t even have a witty response to this.  Because nwords were invited and nwords are gonna attend, especially an nword that explains her position to attend in an open letter written on Hello Kitty Stationary in a nice pastel blue pen, I’m at a true loss as to what qualifies someone or something to be traditionally and typically American.  It’s not a racist statement on it’s face, but cmon…Im a black woman…everything about this administration is racist.  “And we move on with our agenda.” – Let me finish your statement for you BArRaCK.  “…agenda of appointing the most unqualified people in history, gaslighting the fuck out of the world, tricking black people into thinking we give a fuck, pretending that Porangetus can read, and basically turning this country into the laughing stock of the free and oppressed world.” And so now I go…back to the book – where I live – and read the thoughts of people I respect and some I most certainly do not, tell me why we, The Blacks, need to listen, wait, reach across the aisle, make our voice be heard, be represented, and have a seat at the god damn table.  After the last eight years….after the central park 5….after birtherism…after “YOU LIE”…after “one term president”….after 50 attempts to repeal the ACA….after “my african-american”…after thinking Jim Brown, Ray Lewis, and fucking STEVE HARVEY speak for my community and Michael Eric Dyson, Geneva Reed-Veal, Jesse Williams, Sybrina Fulton – or, hell President of the Black Girls Are Magic Association Bill Maher do not, the only seat at the table I need is at Solange’s.  

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Before I Gave Kendu….

I wasn’t there and I don’t know what happened.  I don’t know if she started tooting blows again.  I don’t know if he got some Superhead.  I don’t know if her and KC had a later dinner and word got back.  I don’t know if he found out that Caesar from Planet of the Apes is his real dad and she wasn’t into beastiality. But I do know, that he signed a pre-nup, which should be a non-contestable, iron-clad, document regardless of what genitalia the signers possess. And another thing I know, is that there are many, some may even say, myriad things that I would do #BeforeIGaveKendu, one thin dime of money outside of what we agreed to prior to marrying – here those things are, in no particular order. His Requests:   TRUMP/PENCE 2016 would get all my money #BeforeIGaveKendu $5.732k for groceries. Every bookstore/website in #murrica would get all my money for every existing and pre-order copy of every book Ann Coulter ever wrote #BeforeIGaveKendu $8k for a private chef. Boko Haram would get all my money to take our girls back#BeforeIGaveKendu $1k for clothes to cover his ashy ass. Steve Harvey would get all my money for a 1 on 1 intensive week long counseling session on how to get and more importantly keep a man #BeforeIGaveKendu $5k to continue paying his parents each month. Courtney Kemp would get all my money in exchange for writing Holly back into Power #BeforeIGaveKendu $71k for his rental properties. Kanye West would get all my money to pay off his debt, leaving him free to find the answers #BeforeIGaveKendu $5k to support HIS two youngest children.  Mona Scott Young would get all my money to start her own network #BeforeIGaveKendu $2.5k for auto expenses and transportation. Chief Keef would get all my money when I signed him to a life time contract with Myalogy Rekkids complete with full creative control #BeforeIGaveKendu $5.708k for maintenance and repair on his properties. Charlie Sheen would get all my money in exchange for some unprotected Tiger Blood lovin #BeforeIGaveKendu $21.677k for charitable donations. By no means is this list exhaustive, just a reference point for how a man, who had a career before we met – allegedly, I hired after we met, kept on after we married, and allowed me to do a singing KFC commercial under his “expert” management, wouldn’t get one dime over what we agreed to prior to marrying. Dick up, Loser. What would you give all your money to before his fugly ass?  Hit them comments!      

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Dumb Shit on the Internet I Can’t Stay Silent On…..

HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY IDIOTS and the people that love and tolerate them!  Y’all have brought me back from my Power ending induced funk with all the dumb shit yall keep posting in my sacred space Facebook. Im angry and jaded 101.75% of the time, so with those new to Myalogy, please know that while I proceed to clear my heart and mind of the dumbshit so I dont have to speak on it anymore. TRUMP VS. COSBY These are both vile men.  I’ve met neither in person, thanks to the gods, but damn near every person that I know that has encountered them has said this.  Both are wealthy.  Both are powerful.  Both have been accused of sexual assault; only one is facing criminal charges – the BLACK ONE.  DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH.  I know….the white people trying to bring him down.  He was bout to buy NBC.  He was ready to make a comeback on NBC showcasing a positive black family.  He was…….the one that brought this shit on himself.  Not content to lead by public example, both the real and show versions of him and his wives were the Obama’s of the 80s, this piece of garbage went on a public tour to talk bout how the very people that support and love him, need to get to pulling on their bootstraps and stop throwing syllables together when naming their children.  AND THAT, blackity black black blackass people, your cute memes nothwithstanding, is the ONE reason why all this has come up.  Dont believe me?  I know its hard and asking a lot, but READ. http://www.nbcnews.com/storyline/bill-cosby-scandal/judge-explains-why-he-unsealed-bill-cosby-court-documents-n387861 and since I know you hate reading….a synopsis. “The stark contrast between Bill Cosby, the public moralist and Bill Cosby, the subject of serious allegations concerning improper (and perhaps criminal) conduct is a matter as to which the AP — and by extension the public — has a significant interest,” Judge Eduardo Robreno wrote in a memorandum Monday. The documents were released after a request from The Associated Press.  Robreno wrote Monday that the case “is not about the Defendant’s status as a public person by virtue of the exercise of his trade as a televised or comedic personality. Rather, Defendant has donned the mantle of public moralist and mounted the proverbial electronic or print soap box to volunteer his views on, among other things, childrearing, family life, education, and crime.” Cosby has made himself part of these public issues and therefore has “voluntarily narrowed the zone of privacy that he is entitled to claim,” the judge wrote.” YA BOY DID THIS TO HIMSELF.  Stop the bullshit.    Azealia Banks, Problematic Free Black Woman FUCK OUT OF HERE.  This chick, whether because of abuse, mental illness, drugs, alcohol, lack of talent, lack of attention, being the middle child, or the burden of being a black woman in this world is a SHIT SHOW. Railing against damn near every racial group, ethnicity, sexual preference, gender identity, doesn’t make you free.  It makes you a piece of shit.   I know plenty of free black women, one is the well known sister of a good friend of mine.  She takes internet trolls and opposing cable news commentators to the woodshed, speaking intelligently and truthfully and I havent even seen her crown TRY and slip off her head. She is the epitome of what white people would call problematic, but in my eyes, just strong, capable and intelligent….a threat to this whole entire world and the way it views and treats black women.  This week something happened with this chick and Russell Crowe, just as much of a trash person as Banks, and the black wommins and hoteps CAME OUT.  WHY?  Cuz he called her a nigger?  SHE IS ONE.  You think that bothered her?  She called Zayn Malik a bitch ass nigga.  When you lower that bar, that’s where you give folks persmission to meet you.  SHE ATTACKED MY BELOVED DISNEY STAR Skai Jackson, A BABY FOR CHRISSAKES…a baby that handed that heffa her ass, btw. Now if he choked her, that makes me happy, cuz I aint shit, but that honestly is a problem and he should be locked up for it. This chick bleaches her skin, which gotta be against Hotep and Teptress laws, as well as respectable black folks, unless you Ambi-ing some acne spots, but still we persist in holding this dumpster fire up as some form of black folk hero.  Stop the bullshit.    My Public Statements Ain’t Public How in this year of our Lord is ANYONE outside your aged relatives new to Facebook STILL posting that privacy notice?  HOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW? You post your life all over facebook all damn day. Breakups, make ups, job interviews, firings, your calls for your prayer warriors, how wifey got caught up, your kids pics, your grandkids pics, that shitty assed dinner you made bae, them half dead flowers he brought you and now you wanna post a freakin privacy policy?  Like me and my band of petty idiots aint screenshotting every damn laughable dumb ass thing you say and post?  You know the only thing anyone will do with your boringness? Laugh at it…like we do when we send it to each other and snark over it in our secret inbox group.  Are you even remotely aware that due to the language you have no way of understanding, the user agreement you accepted for both Facebook and Messenger, means they pretty much can do damn near anything with those fugly Joe Camel selfies you persist in taking?  They just let you keep your phone…they own everything in it. LMAO. From an attorney, on the matter: “Please, I beg you. Do not start posting Uniform Commercial Code and Rome law as protectors of what you say on someone else’s property that you are using for free! Do you even know what the Uniform Commercial Code is? If you want to protect your privacy just shut down the FREE account on Facebook. You don’t have to say anything.

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MyMedialogy : Presidential Race to the End of My Nerves

HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY Kids! Storytime! Once a upon a time, a well respected program director at a beloved Chicago radio station reached out to a hyper opinionated blogger/writer/shittalker/rihannabiggieamylover/facebookaddict, and asked if she would like to share her thoughts on his station. “Thoughts?” she wondered.  “Thoughts on what?” she asked aloud. “Anything you want,” he responded. She sat back and thought about it. Nope can’t talk about that, mama’s gonna listen.  Nope can’t talk about that, that happened two weeks ago.  Nope can’t talk about that, cuz you do want them to invite you back. Sad and uninspired, our fearless blogger sat back, <redacted>, stared dead-eyed and slack jawed at the beauty outside her window, and shouted “Eureka!” to her plant, aptly named “Junior Walter.” Nonplussed, and unable to process nor return human thoughts, speech or fux, Junior Walter just sat there. Slowly the most sly of grins emerged on the lips that birthed some of the most foul mouthed words the world had ever heard. The rest, kids?  Well, click below to judge for yourself. MYALOGY ON WVON This commentary also can be heard at 9:20am, 5:20pm and 11:55pm cst (or is it cdt – who cares.  central time, suckas) on WVON 1690 on ya AM DIAL or at www.wvon.com online.    

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