Facebook – Myalogy

Dumb Shit on the Internet I Can’t Stay Silent On…..

zyansaeed615 / October 18, 2016

HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY IDIOTS and the people that love and tolerate them! Y’all have brought me back from my Power ending induced funk with all the dumb shit yall keep posting in my sacred space Facebook. Im angry and jaded 101.75% of the time, so with those new to Myalogy, please know that while I proceed to clear my heart and mind of the dumbshit so I dont have to speak on it anymore. TRUMP VS. COSBY These are both vile men. I’ve met neither in person, thanks to the gods, but damn near every person that I know that has encountered them has said this. Both are wealthy. Both are powerful. Both have been accused of sexual assault; only one is facing criminal charges – the BLACK ONE. DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH. I know….the white people trying to bring him down. He was bout to buy NBC. He was ready to make a comeback on NBC showcasing a positive black family. He was…….the one that brought this shit on himself. Not content to lead by public example, both the real and show versions of him and his wives were the Obama’s of the 80s, this piece of garbage went on a public tour to talk bout how the very people that support and love him, need to get to pulling on their bootstraps and stop throwing syllables together when naming their children. AND THAT, blackity black black blackass people, your cute memes nothwithstanding, is the ONE reason why all this has come up. Dont believe me? I know its hard and asking a lot, but READ. http://www.nbcnews.com/storyline/bill-cosby-scandal/judge-explains-why-he-unsealed-bill-cosby-court-documents-n387861 and since I know you hate reading….a synopsis. “The stark contrast between Bill Cosby, the public moralist and Bill Cosby, the subject of serious allegations concerning improper (and perhaps criminal) conduct is a matter as to which the AP — and by extension the public — has a significant interest,” Judge Eduardo Robreno wrote in a memorandum Monday. The documents were released after a request from The Associated Press. Robreno wrote Monday that the case “is not about the Defendant’s status as a public person by virtue of the exercise of his trade as a televised or comedic personality. Rather, Defendant has donned the mantle of public moralist and mounted the proverbial electronic or print soap box to volunteer his views on, among other things, childrearing, family life, education, and crime.” Cosby has made himself part of these public issues and therefore has “voluntarily narrowed the zone of privacy that he is entitled to claim,” the judge wrote.” YA BOY DID THIS TO HIMSELF. Stop the bullshit. Azealia Banks, Problematic Free Black Woman FUCK OUT OF HERE. This chick, whether because of abuse, mental illness, drugs, alcohol, lack of talent, lack of attention, being the middle child, or the burden of being a black woman in this world is a SHIT SHOW. Railing against damn near every racial group, ethnicity, sexual preference, gender identity, doesn’t make you free. It makes you a piece of shit. I know plenty of free black women, one is the well known sister of a good friend of mine. She takes internet trolls and opposing cable news commentators to the woodshed, speaking intelligently and truthfully and I havent even seen her crown TRY and slip off her head. She is the epitome of what white people would call problematic, but in my eyes, just strong, capable and intelligent….a threat to this whole entire world and the way it views and treats black women. This week something happened with this chick and Russell Crowe, just as much of a trash person as Banks, and the black wommins and hoteps CAME OUT. WHY? Cuz he called her a nigger? SHE IS ONE. You think that bothered her? She called Zayn Malik a bitch ass nigga. When you lower that bar, that’s where you give folks persmission to meet you. SHE ATTACKED MY BELOVED DISNEY STAR Skai Jackson, A BABY FOR CHRISSAKES…a baby that handed that heffa her ass, btw. Now if he choked her, that makes me happy, cuz I aint shit, but that honestly is a problem and he should be locked up for it. This chick bleaches her skin, which gotta be against Hotep and Teptress laws, as well as respectable black folks, unless you Ambi-ing some acne spots, but still we persist in holding this dumpster fire up as some form of black folk hero. Stop the bullshit. My Public Statements Ain’t Public How in this year of our Lord is ANYONE outside your aged relatives new to Facebook STILL posting that privacy notice? HOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW? You post your life all over facebook all damn day. Breakups, make ups, job interviews, firings, your calls for your prayer warriors, how wifey got caught up, your kids pics, your grandkids pics, that shitty assed dinner you made bae, them half dead flowers he brought you and now you wanna post a freakin privacy policy? Like me and my band of petty idiots aint screenshotting every damn laughable dumb ass thing you say and post? You know the only thing anyone will do with your boringness? Laugh at it…like we do when we send it to each other and snark over it in our secret inbox group. Are you even remotely aware that due to the language you have no way of understanding, the user agreement you accepted for both Facebook and Messenger, means they pretty much can do damn near anything with those fugly Joe Camel selfies you persist in taking? They just let you keep your phone…they own everything in it. LMAO. From an attorney, on the matter: “Please, I beg you. Do not start posting Uniform Commercial Code and Rome law as protectors of what you say on someone else’s property that you are using for free! Do you even know what the Uniform Commercial Code is? If you want to protect your privacy just shut down the FREE account on Facebook. You don’t have to say anything.

Admin-tal Illness

“I’m not gonna tell y’all one more time to watch it with the name calling.” And just like that, I knew that my idyllic safe haven of a fun Facebook group had gone on to glory. Someone added me to the group, and once I saw the subject matter, I didn’t object – which was huge for me. I’m not really a fan of groups – open, secret, closed, hidden, or otherwise. I’d been added to several; I left them immediately. I’d been invited to several; I ignored the invitations. But this one was different, it was fun. It was seemingly comprised of black women, around my age, discussing or better yet, tearing to shreds, something we all enjoyed. These chicks were, and are, funny, witty, smart, stupid, entertaining, ratchet, classy, trashy and cool. Once in a while, someone would craft a post about how happy they were to be in the group, a group without drama, messiness or the typical fuckshit that comes along with the congregation of people from different walks of life. These groups are no different than high school, sororities, frats, the workplace, nor the old lady crew that holds down the first pew at the sunrise service. Gangs. With an unfortunate hierarchy. The whole lot of them. They all eventually start to eat their own. Armed with this knowledge, I was saddened, but not surprised when my utopia ended. Not to get into specifics, because I wouldn’t, but, someone did something, then someone told they did it, then the someone they told it to, said something to the first person that did something, which led to someone else contacting the person that the thing was told to in hopes of finding out who told them, but that person wouldn’t tell who told, so the person that contacted them brought it back to the group and told us all. Madness ensued. Who told the thing that the first person did to the person they told it to who wouldn’t tell the person who contacted them trying to find out who told the thing that the first person did? “Who is in contact with all of these people?” “Oh, only this person, that person and Them, know both sets of us.” “Well that person said it wasnt them.” “Musta been that person cuz Them, on second review – Them dont know both sets of us.” Then the person that did the first thing left the group. Then the person who was trying to find out who told in the first place invited others to leave if they ain’t like it. Then other people chimed in bout the person who left and the other people that may have initiated the betrayal. Folks were invited to block other people if they ain’t feel safe, as if the fucking 28 pages redacted out the 9/11 Report, social security numbers, the location of the fallen Malaysian airliner, passwords, their STD screening results, credit scores, Rihanna’s secret phone number and the princess’s name ol boy screams out at the end of The NeverEnding Story were shared in a fucking Facebook group. OY VEY! Shade was thrown. Damns went out the window. And names were called, which led to the opening statement of this post. High School. Told ya. A classic whodunit over a whogivesafuck. I am forty. I say that often in this space. What I do not say, but what I am sure some of you can surmise is the fact I can also be a raging thin-skinned bitch, which Tony would say qualifies me greatly to be an admin. So even if the admin of this group meant, “Hey guys, name calling isn’t cool, lets just chill on that and be adults and move forward with our fuckery and have fun!” MY THIN SKINNED ASS heard “Bitches, call one more muthafucka a name and its gonna be a muthafuckin problem in this bitch, muthafuckas.” I do not respond well to that type of instruction. But, regardless of my propensity to get a muthafucka ALL THE WAY TOGETHER using words that will sending them running to Merriam, Webster, the Urban Dictionary and Jesus, I don’t enjoy conflict, nor arguing with folks on the internet, especially those that I do not know personally. Needless to say, my time in the group has come to a likely end – its bullshit met with my silence. I’m sure I’ll be removed soon and that’s fine. I had an excellent run and so many laughs. I’ll honestly miss some of the folks in there, but I know them in regular Facebook, so the hits will keep on coming. I wish the ladies in that group well, but when a comment makes my cheeks burn, its time to go. I was initially gonna write about this, then decided to let it go, not wanting to ruffle any feathers, nor make any enemies out of former compadres. But then I ran across this post by my stupid friend/guest blogger Tony and my fingers got inspired…… After I cleaned the off the Coke I spit out on my Macbook screen, I asked him aboard cuz my own experience in a group and the experiences I hear about have left me asking this very question. Tony? Group Admins Wanted Employer Name: Facebook Location: All Over Mark Zuckerberg and his other rich friends are looking for Facebook Group admins to help monitor mostly insignificant social groups and ensure that no one posts a flyer that is not supposed to be there or disagrees with ANYTHING one of the almighty admins says. You must have lots of free time, very thin skin (Mya) and have been super unpopular in high school (Not Mya) and at the college promoted by that Master P and Lil Romeo. This job requires 0% travel and you must remind group members that you are an admin at every opportunity. The pay is competitive and commensurate with experience but usually averages around ZERO