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RHOP Reunion Looks: The Hue is Blue

DC/DMV yall gots to do better. I just really dont understand the lack of great fashion sense…I know not you and your girls, yall good, but since thats the case, offense should be the only thing you feel at how those that represent you on a national stage come out the house. From Robyn’s horrid printer streaked hair at the yellow one, or one of the earliest ones where Gizelle came out with a toupee/bang/fall sitting straggely upon her head – and Im not even gonna start on the casts from Ready for Love east coast locales – yall aint even on the fashion struggle bus, yall got ran over by it. Let’s get into the RHOP Reunion, the blue hue edition…. Lets take this thing clockwise….starting with…. GIZGOTDAMZELLE i was gonna start this thing off with real class, showing only each person’s official picture, but this shit here killed me. And its just so freaking accurate. I legitimately laughed out loud for bout 30 seconds. This lady is so gorgeous to me….but somehow the sense of taste is non existenent here. Her homes, her wigs, she somehow made a cute lil gucci trimmed car look very uncute….its all so off. The labels are there, if thats a thing for you – but they are all the things that make you say, “she just got that cuz it says…..” This is yet another miss for me in a long line of misses for me when its comes to Ms. Bryant. Its very 80s and not in a good way, the pagent hair, the shoulder pads, the length of the split, the placement and width of the rhinestones….ick ugh blah no. If retro was the desired aesthetic, why not go for it? Find you a Bob Mackie, girl! Also, the number of rows of stones dffers on the arms…ugly and poorly made? Its a big fucking HELL NO. ASHLEY Ashley has escaped the bondage of her creepy rapey husband as well as the bondage of most of her clothes. From the neck up its very chic. We dont ever see her with short hair cept for that one confessional with that tired mama joyce wig. The rest of her seems designed to elict a response. Its a bra with a skirt attached and I bet that bra was eating her skin UP. Doesnt seem like something you would want rubbing against you all day. Its fine for what it is and who it is….I wouldnt wear it nor style anyone in it. Ive seen her look cuter at reunions and Ive seen her look worse. CANDIACE My personal people champ – say what you want about this one here, her mouth, her triangle tear dabber, her over contoured nose, but what you aint gonna do is come for her marriage and I loved to see it. She summarily dismissed both Neck and Sesame Street when they both tried to come for her man. No storyline here, no maam. And she’s one of the few HW with actual talent that is doing something with it – neither of which has anything to do with this dress, but I just wanted to put that out there. I am always here for a feather moment and this time is no different. All the glam of RHOA, with none of the tack of RHOP. Its soooo over the top and dramatic, I DIEEEEEEEEEEEE. I do wonder why the designer made the decision to stop the feathers and go with the nude bodice, but I still really like this look. Neck up is old hollywood, which is a timeless choice. Pretty sure this is my fave. ROBYN OKAY, Ms Girl, who earlier this season wore a oufit consisting of a men’s cut cropped tee, some bikin’ shorts, and block heeled sandals, either knocks it out the park with her reunion looks (hello soft pink reunion), or misses aint even the fucking word (hello printer hair yellow). This is a definite hit for me. Fresh simple Makeup, appropriate rhinestone placement on the dress, clean lines…its def my style. Robyn looks very nice here. Love it for her. She should permanently hire whoever put this on her. CHARISSE This lady gives me so much sad trombone. Nothing is a try and fail, its just a flat out fail. Im a fan of doing whatever to your body you want, but no one told her getting those huge tits was gonna broaden the fuck outta you? They look sloppy and heavy and thank god she covered them up every episode with white cotton tees like the queen of potomac they say she is. This dress is mundane, nothing to even note….just like her appearance this season. MIA I hate illusion mesh. HATE IT. That being said, its used sparingly here and I guess its fine. The whole look is just fine. Its pagentry wear. Nice make up. Simple hair. Appropriate accessories. Moving on….. WENDY This dress is perfect for Ms. Wendy – its her personified, trying to be too many things to too many people. I see some Zen Wen in there, some Dr. Wen, some Candle Wen and some think-imma-be-the-one-bravo-celeb-with-a-successful-restaurant-even-tho-I-partnered-with-Peter Thomas-Wen up in there too. Where do I start with this utter monstrosity? The pearls on the bodice or the hanging peals on the skirt? The inexplicable pale pink corset that bleeds into a pantie girdle of white? The too many blues of hue fighting each other for space? Seems like whatever that is sticking up off her shoulder will stick her in her face or get stuck on an earring or lock of weave. Its a mess. But she is the fairest of them all….Wendy Osefo is stunning…her dress is not. KAREN HUMBLEBRAG: the same designer that made this dress also designed my wedding jumper, she is a wonderful talented young black woman named Chasity Sereal. She also designed the winning look on her season of Project Runway, for which she was paired with Karen, so

Rants, Uncategorized

Now Don Lemon, I’m Really Happy for You, and Imma let you finish, but….

Man this orange piece of shit is really blowing the life out of us collectively, literally and figuratively.  Scan any form of social media or terrestrial media and at any moment you will definitely find someone cursing this shit out his name and wishing his mama had used him to style her weird assed hair ala Mary in the movie that had us wondering just what that something was about her. So yeah, I’m sure we can agree, that you, as a Myalogist and me being Mya, that that piece of drug addled mental illness wrapped up in a 300lb bag of pus, that naker ain’t shit.  So to witness so many folks getting all wet in their nether regions over Don Lemon’s most recent take down of dump was no big surprise.  He literally does it every night. Anytime someone goes at Donny, especially those visible ones of a particular hue, the deck aka Black Twitter goes up. So for my less than current frands here’s (briefly) what Don Lemon had to say bout his name twin… What is it about President Obama that really gets under your skin? Is it because he’s smarter than you? Better-educated? Made it on his own, didn’t need daddy’s help? Wife is more accomplished? Better looking? I don’t know, what is it, what is it about him? That he’s a black man that’s accomplished being president? That he punked you on the whole birth certificate thing?What is it about him? Just wondering.” Don Lemon with zero fucks left.pic.twitter.com/kbC0zghhzB — Brian Tyler Cohen (@briantylercohen) May 4, 2020 This was in response to a not very well publicized town hall event dump held on Sunday at the Lincoln Memorial, hosted by Fox News.   Feeling the abject coldness he’s experiencing due to the loss of his vaunted rallies and reeling from the sting of the public rebuke of his daily pressers, dump sprung into action and arranged this town hall that, honest to god…wasn’t as bad as you think.  It contained video questions submitted by a good sample of the population.  It def contained some psychophants.  And it also featured tired weary black folks, but it was the person I’m about to speak on next that deserves the Beyoncé treatment the title of this post brings to mind, spoken by he who will no longer be named. So a meemaw appears on the screen and began with this opening salvo: “President Trump, my husband and I thank you, your family and your staff for your great dedication to our country.  We pray for you every day…” Before I could even get the blunt up to my lips, the words “this bitch” escaped them, but then she went on….. “The question I have is about your manner and presentation…..” I then inhaled and listened further. “Why do you use descriptive words that could be classified as bullying? I blew that shit out and continued paying attention. “And why do you not answer questions that are asked to you by the press, but instead speak of past successes and generally ramble?” I then went back and hit the record button cuz I knew this moment had to be captured for posterity.  SHIIIIIIIID, yall put the Ether beat under Don’s distract….well what the hell song does Karen’s meemaw deserve? HIT’EM UP?   Y’all, this was the moment I’ve dreamt of every fucking journalist who crosses that White House briefing room having.  WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU RAMBLING?!  Speaking of rambling….you know that’s just what he did in his Palinesque manner of answerif we calling it that.  “That was a great question, but was it really a great question?”I felt absolutely no need to record his response, just know it was stupid and talked about bare cabinets and cupboards.   Now you may be asking yourself, Mya? Why does this “trump” Donnie L.’s video? And my answer is simply this…..this represents an awakening of minds in our post Barack “science is for losers” society. This woman can pray for and laud this absolute festering oozing sore of a male and still hold him accountable, something his magites have been unable to do and FOR ME, Im holding out a glimmer of hope for you, me, yours and ours. His reign of ineptitude can end this November. So yeah, now Don, I’m really happy for you, and Imma let you finish, but Karen’s meemaw had one of the best questions of this orange rotten jack o lanterns entire presidency……

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