TV – Page 4 – Myalogy

Fraud? Not the Quad.

zyansaeed615 / February 17, 2017

Question, Have you ever settled in after a long day, your Pope wine glass/popcorn bowl in front of you, alpaca/llama/german shepard throw askew your body, glued to the tv to watch your favorite show – the one where the scrappy heroine walks to the train station, boards the train, hits up the starbucks, enters her workplace speaks to Bob and Mary Ann, has a great day, meets her boo for a hot dog stand lunch, and works on some Excel spreadsheets before hitting that same train headed back home, where she tears off her bra, and settles in to watch her favorite show where the scenario that I just described unfolds for her favorite scrappy heroine before her eyes? No? Me neither. The scrappy heroine wouldn’t come home after her mundane day and watch another muthafucka have a mundane day either. You know why? Cuz that shit would be boring. Who the hell wants to watch a television show about real life? Especially a scripted one. Even on reality shows, the producers ramp up the drama…now seems like an appropriate place for some edifyin and educatin; drama: any situation or series of events having vivid, emotional, conflicting, or striking interest or results. (from dictionary.com) Anything vivid, emotional, conflicting or striking, or even interesting about our scrappy heroine’s day? This is why these nonsense around BET’s new D-R-A-M-A The Quad perplexes me. I’ve watched it since its premiere and its a soap opera set in a HBCU. Hazing, murders, affairs, departmental infighting, class warfare, drugs, and drinking all figure prominently. I attended an HBCU, two of them actually and with the exception of murder I can say definitively, all of these things happened during my matriculation at Hampton and or Clark. Im pretty sure other attendees of HBCUs would agree with me, but one administrator at a very prominent HBCU is here for none of it. Dr. William R. Harvey, president of my beloved “home by the sea” – Hampton University is bigly upset with Debra Lee and BET for what he feels is an unfair depiction of life at an HBCU, especially his special assed Hampton. He is so upset in fact that he wrote a 3 page letter to detail his complaints. I read his letter, which HILARIOUSLY opens with him thanking Jasmine Guy “for the one academic scene in The Quad series about the mythical and fictitious Georgia A&M University in which students are seated in a classroom.” An actor getting credit for a scene that was written for her to appear in…fine. I checked – Jas aint got shit to do with the creative end of this show, sooooooooooooooooooo, yeah. He goes on to say that in his nearly 50 year esteemed career in higher education administration, he has NEVER witnessed the actions portrayed in The Quad. Come with me on a cherry picking expedition of Dr. Harvey’s letter if you will…. He’s never seen: students driven by sex, alcohol or marijuana. Does this even deserve a rebuttal? Bands that condone hazing. Someone should tell him to google FAMU and read about the hazing death of a drum major. Trustees/School Presidents being beholden to band directors/football coaches. Now, I don’t know this to be the absolute gospel, as I’ve never been an administrator, but I’d bet your baby mama’s link that Eddie Robinson, who famously coached Grambling State University football for over 50 years had more power and pull on that Louisiana campus than ANY of the 7 presidents that presided over him. He goes on to say that the show should have touched on the myriad accomplishments of Xavier, North Carolina A&T, Tougaloo and SHOCK, Hampton. He posits that if any of the things he’s never seen happen, happened on any of those campuses, none of those schools could have accomplished anything they accomplished. He closes the letter by saying that we “cannot afford this kind of story telling. It amounts to the type of fake news that is prevalent today.” Sir….I know Porangetus has blurred the lines between “story” and “news” but you can’t compare the two. One is a STORY and one is the NEWS. What a false equivalency. Stunning in its irresponsibility. I’m unclear about exactly what it is about our cousins that only want the not only positive, but righteous side of us shown in movies and television dramas. I mean I get it….but this aint blaxpoitation here. There are no pimps hanging on campus ready to set out the fresh faced freshman. No one is eating chicken and watermelon while bagging up their weed. People are living, loving, succeeding and failing just like they do on college campuses and life in general…these people just happen to be black. This is such made up bullshit, its a shame. I feel quite comfortable in saying that not one kid watching The Quad is gonna clutch their pearls and decide to attend a PWI over an HBCU because a girl got drunk at a college party and ended up kissing a girl. If anything, in this day and age, I imagine it would have the opposite effect. Black people and their experiences are not a monolith. Say it with me. BLACK PEOPLE AND THEIR EXPERIENCES ARE NOT A MONOLITH. Just like an HBCU can graduate most of the black MBAs in the country and still have a hazing death occur, a black doctor can marry a black lawyer, create 5 upstanding kids and afford a brownstone in Brooklyn….but hey, back then we said that was fiction too.

Recaps

Powerful Thoughts 3.10 ~ FINITO ~

zyansaeed615 / September 28, 2016

Well Powerfans, we’ve reached the conclusion of the third season. It felt very much like the second season of the wire to me….the “white” season, which on the surface, the first time around, was a nuisance and a distraction from my beloved towers and corner boys, but upon the conclusion of the series, stands up against any other season, except maybe the school system/kids season. I’m hoping that once its all said and done, this third season just seems like a sort of shit show, but once the story is concluded, will assume its rightful place in my perspective. Editor’s Note: Please know, I woke up at 6am Sunday morning, and discovered the world as I knew it had changed….this got damn episode was NOT on Comsucksfinity or whatever they calling themselves these days onDemand. I. WAS. LIVID. To the Facebook I go, and see folks commenting….WTF? Bada boom, bada bing, abracadabra, threats for passwords, I saw it. And still wrote this review three days later….I am a loser. Anyway, in the words of Stringer Bell, lets get to it muthafuckas…… Here Lies Gregex P. Keaton We open the show with Gregex showing up to the site where Ruiz’s body is found and retrieving the button recorder which has captured Tommy running his trap too damn much and killing Ruiz and his dumb hat. Cut to Greg in his office, cueing up the recorder when he is interrupted by some black dude I dont remember seeing before, who starts checking him for not reporting Ruiz’s death. Gregex rushes dude off, leaves and drops in on Nick Nolte, Homeland Security™, who breaks it to him that the tapes are inadmissible. He is not deterred, he feels like he can get folks to flip on each other. He first tries his bullshit with Ghost, who seems to have recovered some brain cells cuz he tells Greg he aint going…if he had something he would have arrested him. FOILED AGAIN MR. KEATON! He eturns home only slightly defeated, calls over Agent Sandoval and begins to tell him how he got the goods on Angie, Tommy and Ghost when he is interrupted by a phone call – its the Federales, calling to say, that they havent been in communication with anyone in his office, regardless of the fact that Sandoval said one of his tips regarding Lobos came from them. RUH ROH. Greg, now remembers Sandoval leaving Hugo’s crib and confronts him with this information, assuring him that they can make it alright if he just surrenders himself. Trump got these white men thinking they can save the world and make it great again, but who they cant save is themselves. Sandoval has not one second of time for that flimflam…..him and his silencer are gonna silence Greg permanently. He shoots and kills Greg and leaves the dirty Lobos burner phone in Greg’s desk. Agent Clarice Starling’s case is now officially closed. Gregex P. Keaton goes down as the mole. All Lean is Not Created Equal Tariq, (god is he still alive?) is yes, Mya, still alive and still hanging out with Kanan, who puts Tariq to the test to see if these hoes are indeed loyal…and SUPRISE CBreezy, they are. He tells Tariq to drop a package off to someone who seems to be an undercover officer. He cuffs Tariq and puts him in the back of a squad car driven by the biggest mama of them all, Jukebox. They aggressively question him, but he wont break. Kanan interrupts the interrogation and is visibly pleased by his lil pup. They all go back to dearly departed Meemaw’s crib for a celebratory round of lean, which is, according to Jukebox, mixed differently in DC than NYC. This superlean knocks Tariq clean out, while they decide what to do with him. Kanan wants to just have him break into his homies crib and make him a professional thief, but Juke has other designs….she wants to ransom, as a verb, Tariq, get Ghost to pay and still kill his kid, breaking him in his pockets and his heart. Kanan reluctantly (HUH? You killed your own son and was JUST bout to throw a baby out a window -literally) agrees and he and a comatose Tariq pose for a very rapey picture, which they promptly text to Tasha, who has just returned home from Truth and is desperately trying to reach an unreachable Ghost. The Best Laid Plans Our “hero” does have a plan and it includes him becoming the Black Spiderman to break into Greg’s crib to retrieve the recorder, after he sees Greg at the Ruiz murder scene. No sooner than he scales the fire escape and enters Greg’s apartment thru a window, does he find his dick FIRMLY in the dust…….He sees Angies drawls (draws?) and I am unable to can stop laughing….I love seeing folks catch the vapors…Its my PLEASURE. He looks up and sees the evidence wall targeting him and is completely broken. Just then Angie enters, he hides, and attempts to make a smooth getaway when she leaves, but — not gonna happen. He has to take off his pesky gloves to close Gregs window and make as much noise as possible while making his exit. Dropping shit down four stories, losing his Spidey sense and he aint even get what he came for. Shameful. He later meets up with Tommy and it appears Tommy is on his side, although I cant say I would be at this point. He tells Ghost that Milan plans to kill him later that night at Truth after he signs the Karen contracts, so they can continue business as usual with Dre at the helm of Truth. Fast forward to party time and everyone looking all shaaaaaab and happy, even Tasha, whose weave is remains a case. Ghost meets with Karen to sign the papers, under Milan’s watchful eye. Milan thinks its go time and steps to Ghost, ready to make his move, when Ghost tells

Recaps

Powerful Thoughts 3.9

zyansaeed615 / September 21, 2016

I’d like to open this recap with the following statement meant to convey my maturity and lack of hubris: I TOLD YALL MUTHAFUCKASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! THE RETURN OF GHOST AND T. Ahem….. Penultimate episode here, which I felt was anything but ultimate, but hey…….im here to report and judge the show, not write it. I will say Court and Co have done an amazing job of making me love Tommy and hate Ghost…which at the start of the show was inconceivable to me. Now its hard to remember when I used to cheer for Ghost and want to see him to be great. He used to call you on your cellphone Hugo’s cellphone is in Angela’s clutches and she is making little headway figuring out what to do with it. As fate would have it, Sandoval calls it while she is holding it in her hand and she answers it. No one speaks on the other end, but she hears the chopper that’s flying overhead their building, on her end and the callers end. Sandoval does as well and disconnects the call. After meeting up with Jamie, outside in public while wearing their invisibility cloaks and learning Gregex was at Tommy’s house questioning Kate, she goes to her pasty butt boyfriend and tries to put her butter pecan rican on him. Known to us, but unbeknownst to her, Greg will take the ass, but he’s still on her trail. While she is sleeping, he goes into her briefcase, finds the cell and takes a pic of the sim card so he can have his buddy Agent Medina run it later. That boy is quicka than that thang yall! Have you ever tried to go thru ya people’s phone while they in the next room. Hands all shakey, mouth all dry, fumbling….OH THATS ONLY ME HUH? Yeah, Okay. Anyway, he meets with Medina and gets some info that leads him to a store near Hugo’s crib. He arrives there just in time to see Sandoval leaving Hugo’s crib, where he removed a pic of him and his wife and hopefully his only connection to Hugo. Greg is all GOLLY GEE and trying to figure out why Sandoval would be there. No Love in the Club In the season’s most meandering pointless subplot, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz kantos returns demanding sterns invite list zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz ghost got a plan zzzzzzzzzzzz julio stashing drugs in the cocky white boy club zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz ghost busts up cocky white boys/karen meeting zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz cops arrive zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz cocky white boys arrested zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz big party back on at Truth zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Reunited and it feels so dumb It’s career day at the St. Patrick kids school and James St. Patrick is up there in all his tailored suit glory talking bout the challenges of being a club owner and the adverse affect it can have on your loved ones. Tariq dont give a fuck; texting his boy Slim Fug to hook up later while his dad is up there talking…but his Mama gives fucks….many confused, contorted, ugly face fucks. After hitting the club kids where it hurts and stealing his club business back, Ghost returns home triumphant. Tasha is liquored up on wine when he gets there and congratulates him on beating the competition and keeping them safe from Milan. She’s so grateful in fact, she rewards him with the gift of her open legs and as many ugly faces as she can muster. That shit was hard for me to watch, which is becoming the norm for me and Power sex scenes. She must have literally gotten her brains fucked out, because no sooner than Ghost leaves, does she pick up the phone and tell Tommy that Ghost is working to eliminate Milan and must be stopped, even tho she just thanked him for working to eliminate Milan. Fine. Tasha…we forgave you fuckin round with Dumbface Shawn, ya man’s was dickin around with bimbos (shouts out to Colin Powell), but this is just STUPID. Don’t enter the Game of Dummies…the field is too crowded. Ebony and Ivory do NOT go together in perfect harmony This week finds me sad again at the deterioration of Ghost and Tommy’s relationship. The show opens with them sitting across from each other, Ghost questioning Tommy like a jealous lover bout why he aint return his call. Aint this a bitch? Actually, aint this a man? Demanding the truth while lying to someone’s face. Tommy tells him that he went to Milan’s warehouse to get closer to him. He also lets Ghost know that Ruiz is becoming a problem, refusing to sell anything until he sits down face to face with Milan to get a better understanding about why the product has to change. Ghosts assures him that Ruiz will fall in line, because – ALTOGETHER NOW – he has a plan. GOT dammit I’m sick of this man and his plans. Ghost reminds Tommy its of the utmost importance that they stick together and keep each other in the know, even tho we know he refuses to tell anyone, anything, anyplace, anytime – ever. Tommy later arranges the meeting with a wire wearing Ruiz and Milan, during which he receives a phone call from a “dick for brains” – literally- assed Tasha, who lets him know that Ghost JUST told her that he was working on a plan to rid them of Milan permanently. This pisses Tommy off to NO END. Earlier in the ep, he defended their friendship to Milan. He told Milan that Ghost was all on board with the team and that he’s just being cautious. Milan tells Tommy, all that is fine, but if Ghost aint right, Tommy will meet his own untimely demise. This leads to Tommy giving Ruiz a ride home from the meet to his final destination. In the car, Tommy vents his frustration over Ghost’s latest betrayal, confessing that Lobos is dead, and eventually killing Ruiz – ALL ON THE TAPE RECORD. He returns to Truth to tell Ghost that he

Recaps

Greenleafian Thoughts 1.10

zyansaeed615 / August 12, 2016

YO! I’ve been watching Greenleaf. I think you should too. If you are already watching, yay! KEEP READING. YOU IS SMART! YOU IS KIND! YOU IS…wait…wrong black woman. This is an Ofrey joint…not a Viola one. If you are not, walk with me, wontcha? Let’s go out the door and you can come back when you’ve caught up. Still here? LETS GO! Greenleaf is the story of a southern black mega church family dealing with themes common in the black community – infidelity, closeted homosexuality, incest, rape, teen drug use, suicide, police brutality, and ignit assed mommas. Actually, that makes it an All American story…and not just a black one. Grace “GG” Greenleaf is our protagonist here, the prodigal daughter instead of son. A talented preacha since birth apparently, (altho I dont think anyone other than Jeremiah Wright could be that light skinnded and still be able to bring down the house. I like my passas blue black), GG left the family fold after uncovering some horrible family secrets, and became a journalist. She returned to the family, much to the chagrin of her mom, to hold some feets to the fire and get some justice against those who have brought harm to her family, namely, the suicide of her sister Faith. This beautiful muthafucka here….Lynn Whitfield is doing the DAMNDEST thang as “Lady” Mae Greenleaf, HBIC of the Greenleaf family and first lady of the Calvary churchhouse. She is FIERCELY protective of her husband, Bishop Greenleaf, who I will be referring to as “Passa” for obvious reasons, her brother Mac, and all of her dark skinned children. She hates Grace in a way you have to see to believe. Keith David or David Keith, whatevs….he is MY DUDE since the getback. And this man is matching La Whitfield note for note on this show. Head of the family and the church, Bishop James Greenleaf, SEEMS to be a righteous man, with a heart of gold. He is passionate about his flock, and equally as passionate about living a grand, austere life. He, unlike his wife, is TOTALLY devoted to Grace and is over the moon about her return to the flock. However, his finances, freedom and health are under attack. This piece of shit is Robert “Mac” McCready, brother of Lady Mae and whatever Oprah’s characters name is, money man of the church, RKelly fan, Bill Cosby enthusiast, Subway devotee and the man who is pretty much responsible for Faith’s suicide, due to the fact that he doesn’t understand that you should really not rape people; you should really especially not rape lil girls; and you should super really especially not rape lil girls related to you. Requisite weak ineffective marginalized black man – CHECK. This is Jacob. He is ruled by his mom. He is ruled by his dad. He is ruled by his wife. He is ruled by his dick. Had his preaching powers stripped once his affair with a white chick was revealed – by his wife. Although I think it had more to do with GG coming home, than his affair. Whats a requisite weak ineffective marginalized black man without a shrill, cold, aggrieved, power hungry black woman? Enter Kerissa Greenleaf, wife, mother, bitch, Spelman grad. I present that last descriptor without commentary. #CAU She wants her man to be so much more than he even thinks he can be and SHOCK, she hates GG. This is baby sis Charity Greenleaf Satterlee, played by a Winans, so sanging scenes are mandatory. Largely dismissed by her entire family, even when she has something of worth to say. She somehow got pregnant by her husband, Kevin, a man more interested in Grindr, the new male homeless shelter director and every human with a penis than her. Here he is, doing what he does most of the time when he is not ogling hot guys and staring wistfully off into the distance. And just to make sure #teamlightskin goals are met, this slice of melba toast is Noah. Head of Security at the Church. He is currently engaged to some chick, but crazy in love with GG, who left him when the rainbow wasn’t enuff. He is helping her to take down Mac. He also just broke down and gave her the hot beef injection. He is hella lame to me. But I like my melanin challenged men with some scars or something. He has as much flavor as one of those white people fried chicken du jour places that are springing up all over Chicago. OH SNAP, how I forget Movah? Ofrey guest stars as Mavis McCready, despised enemy of her sister Mae and brother Mac, doting aunt to GG, and the one to put a battery in her back to get her to come back home to Memphis to bring down Mac, who she been knew aint right. She owns a blues lounge in Memphis and rocks a mean crochet job. These are the kids – Zora, Jacob’s daughter and Sophia, GG’s daughter. They are cute. They are intelligent. They do typical teenaged shit – like snort Adderall and sneak out the crib. And surprisingly they do not get on my nerves. Imma move on, cuz the intro was kinda long this week, and this wasn’t the best show (it was kinda slow) to kickoff the recaps, but hey…..ya get what ya get. Myalogy Minutes: Passa done shot Mac IN DA CHURCHHOUSE, cuz GG told him bout how he molested Faith. Dont worry tho…sadly the bullet went straight thru, so Mac aint gonna die. BUT, Mac is going to jail on molestation charges and he said if he go, Passa going with him….dun dun DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH. GG called the cops anyway even tho both Passa and Mac asked her not to. Cue, passa walkin out in cuffs. Cue Lady Mae cutting the hell out of GG with her

Recaps

Powerful Thoughts 3.4

zyansaeed615 / August 9, 2016

Hey y’all, Hey! Today we will be headed into heretofore unchartered territory here at Myalogy: TV RECAPS. I know….earthshattering. First up is the show that real tv connoisseurs were excited about prior to its premiere and the one the rest of y’all started watching at the end of season one after Taraji and Lightskin Lunatic got y’all amped then went on summer vacation, at which point you binge watched the season, then walked into every black gathering everywhere armed with the question: Y’ALL WATCH POWER? Followed with the inevitable: ITS WAY BETTER THAN EMPIRE!!!! As if…. Here we are 4 eps into the season and I have thoughts in no particular order. 1. Why is Ghost so fucking dumb with this Andre thing? Ghost can be an incredible dude. We’ve seen him get out of some tight jams up until this point. He is so smart, sometimes I don’t even know what he is doing (anyone know why kantos was fired? make it go down in my dm then). The way he outsmarted Stern and attempted to get rid of his network was brilliant. Leaving someone that tried to kill you alive, wasnt the smartest thing, but hey…..my dating history speaks to the fact that bad choices happen to smart people….ahem. But this Dre thing? Why is he trying to wife a hoodrat? He raised his last protege from a pup and Sean still turned on him. What makes him think Dre, who worked for Kanan is gonna be any different? Nword keeps telling you and showing you he bout dat life, which you keep trying to talk him out of. Fuck dre…let him hang out in the bbq spot……who you need to be trying to cuff is……. 2. HOLLY, THE BEAST. This is who Ghost should want on the team. She is one of the few people on this show that unapologetically makes moves in her best interest. I want those earrings, I’m taking them. Mr. St. Patrick? HA, Fuck you! You Ghost to me, fool. She is seemingly the only person in her house that knows that Lobos intends to kill her and her manse, and she’s like “FUCK DAT. He dont wanna kill his boy so we can live? Like the dog aint already dead? Cool. “Bae, im running to the store for some milk and cookies, BRB” Mama headed right on down to the Jamaicans, put the money on the table, took out a pic of Ghost and said “Finish HIM.” I aint mad…… 3. Y’all think y’all want a Michelle, but y’all really want a Candie. Hey Girlfrands! Any of yall riding for your manse the way Candie rides for Jukebox? I know I ain’t. She be frying shit in booty shorts risking grease burns. Drugging fools. Fucking fools. Nursing fools. Healing the hands of fools. And letting fools get her off without vomiting….all while having Asperger’s Syndrome. (I know Im not the only one that thinks she is a highly functioning mentally handicapped person. I just know it. Something is very off about her. ) She will do all of that, while still staying firmly #teamjukebox And some of y’alls chicks were actively planning to leave y’all for Mr. Steal Your Grandma. 4. Jamesgela is so soul crushing now. Boring sex. Them both saying “I had good intentions” regarding her going to see Tasha/Him paying her rent – the height of passive aggressiveness, which can be the death knell of a relationship. Boring family dinners. Monotone voices. “Remember when” conversations, which Tony Sopranro smartly said are the lowest form of coversation. Her own admission that they weren’t gonna make it. Him non-convincingly reassuring her that they would. Ugh….please. Him calling Tash HIS WIFE in an argument- HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. They are a prime example of the saying “cheating ain’t no fun, when you ain’t got nobody to cheat on.” He will be back between Tash’s legs before this season is over. Bet dat. 5. I’m surprised I can see after all this horrid sex. COURTNEY KEMP. Ms. Kemp. Courtney. Court – Im a Court too, so I feel I can call you that. I dont ever wanna see 50’s dick again. Not a shadow of it. Not its imprint. Not just the tip. Not nothing. Dont do that. Ever. Dishonorable mention: Holly and Tommy….the only time Tommy seems to know he is in danger is when he’s inside Holly. That was some seriously depressing sex. That coke fueled threesome Tommy had when Holly left him that time, MORE OF THAT. Musings….. HE just entered the room as Holly and Tommy are fucking and exclaims: SHE IS SO FUCKIN UGLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #baeissmart What made Angie go to that womans house? “You gonna be doing for Ghost the rest of your life.” – HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, snaps for the Kid! I hate Greg and I wanna punch his douchey ass face, but he’s right to wanna destroy them. OINTB lady! 50cent looks so handsome….with that mask covering his face RIP lil black boy…even Stevie Wonder saw that coming Shouts out to Jukebox saying the white boys did it! Jamie got a snapchizzle yall! #followhim Keisha, last season you creamed all over yourself when Tasha told the story bout how she hid a gun for Jamie when they first started dating..now you scared of guns? Park it, Thotyanna. Ghost aint never got time to have the right conversation Crooked Priest, God only cares about one commandment, but you never said what it was. How me and Tommy gonna get into heaven now? Ghost is a magical negro. He can show up and take out two assassins with two shots, run back to the club, change into a suit, pop some Effen and never break a sweat. Jesse did say black people were magic. Joakim Noah done took up actin yall! SEE YA NEXT WEEK.