WETV

Recaps

Inmatesanity: Stories of Love and Lockup

Im adding a new couple, cuz they kicked it up a notch. I be on too much issa rae and rooting for everyone black, when I should be rooting for everyone ratchet. COME WITH ME! My champ is going thru a hard time. His children and family are headed back to Rhode Island and he is on probation, i believe they said 20 years and so seeing them as often as he would like is going to prove challenging. Sidenote: does anyone else take note of how Juju emotes when she speaks to other people or in her confessionals? Its like she’s trying to seduce you with her eyes and neck, like headfucking you…its something. Anyway, Juju has a conversation with his mom and sisters and it seems like everything will be okay….at least for now. If not, hey, at least they have their matching outfits. the delusion continues…..she thinks this naker aint gonna drink in a studio session. lol, girl have you ever been in a studio? an old friend was a rapper during my early 20s and the amount of time we spent in that damn studio watching men get drunk and high – we should be criminally charged for wasting our youth. Anyway…they are in route to the studio when she warns him she dont wanna see one bottle of patron and when she gets there, she doesnt….she sees 50 bottles of patron. She’s clearly disgusted but not too disgusted to go suit shopping for him to wear to their midnight wedding – TOMORROW. Another side note: why are all these people so pressed to get married so quickly?! These people cant even leave the state and you wanna be legally connected to them? OKAY GWORLS. Anyhoo…they also meet Derek’s sisters at the suit shop and can I just say, I LOVE HIS SISTERS. So fun, so funny, non judgemental….they recognize game, but have nothing to say bout it, cuz they love their brother and shit, if someone wants to marry his crazy ass, let them. So the couple that should have been pulled from this show due to his nefarious attack on her, is still here. Wasting our time. Like Mike and Derek this week, its time for Chris to check in with his P.O. So Jar Jar Binks walks out the apartment he shares with Gabby and HIS car she said was in the shop, is now conveniently parked right outside their place. He rightfully calls Gabby down to explain, cuz damn his appointment with his parole officer. She comes down and does the gabby two step, deflect & blame, then scream before she announces her secret….she aint got no license and her bhad bharbie ass put her hands on an off duty cop and she’s facing felony charges. Chris understands and wonders why she aint share with him. She goes to see her lawyer and discusses all her bullshit with him, before inquiring about divorces that she will never need cuz she got married in an alley, which im sure aint legally binding, not because of the location, but do we really think anyone in this couple filed some paperwork? So, this is one of the couple’s I’d initally omitted. One because I saw a scene that gave me the heebie jeebies cuz a room was full of all his meemaws old shit and it was straight out of Hoarders. But this week, they went on their first official date…and what did ol Skylar do to her man that she admitted was jealous? She took a facetime call at the dinner table….from a man. Nathan was triggered but he, skylar and her gentleman caller all played it wrong. Nathan threw a temper tantrum – WRONG, snatched her phone – WRONG, hung up on old boy -WRONG, who kept calling back – WRONG, calls that Nathan kept answering – WRONG. Nathan eventually got sick of it all and stomped off demanding that Skylar join him – WRONG, which she refused – THE ONLY RIGHT ACTION. So she stayed behind and he does what most psychopaths do when they exit stage left – they start blowing ya phone up. She answers right in time for some “stranger” to come over and offer a shot, which makes Nathan bust a righteous ‘u-eee’ right back to the scene of the crime so he knows that skylar knows that he aint a bitch…sorry nathan, thou doth protestest too much or whatever shakespeare said. what yall think?

Recaps

Inmatesanity: Stories of Love and Lockups

or something like that…..the name may change. Let’s do some Love After Lockup, shall we? Where to start…where to start? We a couple of episodes into it and like they say, there is no place like home….my sweet home, Chicago. Monique and Derek: Monique is from what is clearly the WESTSIDE of Chicago, like my good friend Stephanie and old boy that wore the Blue Suit TM with the sleeve tag from a couple of seasons prior. WHAT UP BIG TRICE?! Ahem, Monique is a plus sized a vet hospital worker and her diminutive boyfriend Derek was one of the biggest got damn drug dealers in New Yo, i mean Cleveland that’s coming off a maaaaaaaaaaaaaybe 6 year bid. She catfishes him, only sending heavily filtered face down pics, that while clearly indicating her size, didn’t fully reveal her actual shape. Lovingly, Derek didn’t seem and still doesn’t seem to mind. A wardrobe full of designer shit couldn’t have hurt things. Nor could a $500 assed dinner tab. Listen, I’ve sat down at the county – a whole 30 hour stretch and all I could dream of was an orange drank from McDonalds – so I get cravings. But this naker here…this naker ordered everything on the menu…lobster, king crab legs, lamb chops, steaks and yall know them sides be giraffe vagine high on them menus. AND THEN had the nerve to tell her to hit the ATM so they can go to the casino. She’s clearly got some insecurities, coupled with control issues and she weaponizes her tears oh and she’s beefing with internet star funky dineva and Derek’s trans sister Elizabeth, who we were lead to believe is following Derek and Mo, as the show went off. Prognosis: hey they still together currently. So, I’d say the prognosis is pretty good, but the ride gonna be fun. Justine and Mike: full disclosure, this is my favorite couple of all seasons and its been like 20 seasons of this show and its various iterations. Their relationship seems very grounded in something real and he’s been showing up for her when it counts. Like a lot of families where men aren’t always present, the son becomes the focal point and emotional center and it can prove to be troubling for any romantic interests. NOT THIS TIME. They married while he was in jail and she’s that man’s WIFE. His Mama overstepped at a family party and he quickly got her together. While a bit too precious for me, they dress like alike often – I can’t front on what they showing right now. Prognosis: he’s a pretty talented rapper/artist and juju aint bout that image life buy like Derek and Mo, they still together. Aris and Cameron: dudes a daystar sized rapper that loves trouble. She’s a seemingly, nice albeit stupid person that wants to marry a man that got sent back to prison for failing a breathalyzer test while in a halfway house….but yeah, she trusts him to get it right and be an upstanding dude now. Just as long as he doesnt fuck the strippers he’s planning to have at his video shoots. They don’t show them a lot so I aint got much to say about them. He’s a drunk and she makes bad choices in men. Prognosis: Ive seen pics of the wedding, and they will be on the next version of this show, so lets see how we get there and what follows. Chris and gabby. Let me just say this once so we can get It out the way. I find Chris to be very unattractive like very…..like couldn’t be more…..like it makes me make a face when I see his face….and hey I may bring out the same emotion in him, but we talking bout me and my perspective is that this dude is very unattractive. Gabby is a kardashian knock off who spent 60k on a bwm, an apartment, and numerous cosmetic surgeries including vaginal tightening, even tho she keeps professin she aint fucked nobody in 5 yrs….okay girl. The 60k came from a lawsuit Chris won against the penal system in NYC after catching a beatdown while in custody. Now he got out, married gabby in a fucking alley, consummated it in a public bathroom, got dropped off at the halfway house, got caught talking to chicks, got abandoned by gabby once he got out before she let him come to the house, where he told her he wanted the box and got relagated to the couch for the night. Prognosis: flatline . He is back in jail after horrifically beating gabby. There are other couples whose scenes I forward thru, I may pay attention if things seem spicy…. yall watching? whatchall think?

Scroll to Top