Recaps – Page 4

Powerful Thoughts 4.6

zyansaeed615 / July 31, 2017

Fuck it. Imma just start calling show creator Courtney Kemp by her new name – The Undertaker. This mofo’n lady killing folks off like flies! Now go grab your fancy internet boutique dress and your MKMKMKMKMKMK Kors bag and pull out ya baby daddy’s oversized court suit. Sign the book, take your seat, have a swig from your flask, check your Facebook and let’s start this funeral. Share ya programs, cuz I done ran out. Kanan and Ghost’s Excellent Adventure Could be me, but shouldn’t Ghost have been a wee bit more terrified when a man he thought he killed rolled up on him in broad daylight? A gasp or something, at the very least. So Kanan pulls up with the gun, forces Jamie into the car and reveals that he and Jukebox have Tariq and are holding him for ransom. Ghosts confesses to Kanan that as a newly freed man, he has no money. Kanan lets him know it’s gonna be lights out for a lil nigga if he doesn’t come up with that bag. So Ghost thinks of the one person the audience has been thinking of as a resource the entire time: Tommy – he wants to rob Tommy’s stash house. Kanan remarks glibly at Ghost’s betrayal of yet another friend…he doesn’t think much of Jamie and rightfully so. Jamie is a piece of shit at the end of the day. Anyway, the robbery goes off with only one hitch (turn to page 7 of your programs) and the money is theirs. En route to Tariq, Ghost kicks off one of his “remember when” convos and I guess that shit worked. I don’t know what memory a nigga could conjure up to make me forget he sent me to jail for ten years, tried to burn me up, and basically fucked my life, but hey….Kanan surrenders his gun to Ghost, who should have shot him in the face right then. They French kiss then decide to take Juke on together. They enter the crib and find she has a gun to Tariq’s head. Ghost makes a false move and reveals his piece and Juke knows she’s been betrayed. She delivers a standard issue villain monologue and Kanan counters with a standard issue death row confession, including the admission that he killed Shawn. She begins to “talk too much” according to Kanan, and he shoots her in her chest. He grabs his money bag, bids Tariq an un-fond adieu, and walks out the door, alive and well enough to return to kill Ghost another season. Tommy’s Kind of Town Our boy is here in the City of Wind! He is here to meet with the “Chicago” in “Chicago is pleased” – Jason Mitchitch, er, Mistich, er, Mistych, or whatever, sounds like something you catch on your feet! Rimshot! Y’all, I didn’t even know it was a big boss, let alone a regular old white one. Didn’t see that coming. I thought all dope dealers were black! He tells Tommy he wants him to be the boss of America, and all he has to do is cut all ties with Ghost. Tommy bristles at this, but agrees. Jason insists Tommy stay around so they can get it in Chi-style. Later that evening, Tommy is sitting around holding court with Jason and his gaggle of hoes, telling unfunny stories and copping to murder – Milan’s murder. This confession elicits a wide-eyed exchange between Jason and one of his henchmen, so we know some fuck shit is coming. Upon leaving the spot, Tommy is thrown in the trunk and driven out to a hole in the ground – bound and tied on his knees. Just then, Petyr appears and tells Tommy “nah nah boo boo, you killed Milan, now Jason’s gonna kill you!” Tommy reasons with Jason that Petyr is lying, that he told Tommy the hit on Milan was sanctioned by Chicago, and that Petyr is playing both of them. Out of nowhere, Tatiana, Milan’s ex, that is still alive for some reason, arrives and tells Jason that he should trust Tommy. Petyr gets the bullet and a nice resting place next to Nicky Santoro (turn to page 9 of your programs). Now off his knees, Tommy cracks a joke to Jason, and heads home to New York, but decides to make a pit stop in Ohio. He pays a visit to Holly’s uncle, who molested her starting at age 9. The unsuspecting scumbag is showing Tommy a house he has listed and soon finds himself on the business end of a bat that was just conveniently laying around. Unrest in Hell, Uncle Molester. 9 year old girls don’t ask to be hurt by those they trust. Kill Jul-Z Well damn. Looks like Julio doesn’t have to worry bout being disrespected by his primeras or anyone else for that matter. Having seen Dre talk to Kanan the last episode, he confronts him. Dre triple talks his way out of the situation and plays him like a chick that confronts her manse over some shit she found in his phone only to have the old “I CANT BELIEVE YOU WENT THRU MY PHONE” shit pulled on her. He quickly switches the issue from Kanan to Cristobal. He positions Cristobal as the loose lips that will sink the ship and tells Julio that he needs to be replaced, and wonder of wonders, Dre has the perfect replacement! Ever the lapdog, Julio wants to run this by Tommy, but Dre convinces him to finalize things with this new primera, then go to Tommy with a problem that already has a solution. Julio agrees. Bad move Julio. Dre leaves the meet and sets up another meet with Cristobal and El Toros Locos Dude, where he offers them Julio on a silver platter – his only request being that it does NOT appear to be a gang hit since Ghost negotiated for Julio’s freedom. Later, Julio arrives at the meet to find the men sent to

Recaps

Insecurities 2.1

zyansaeed615 / July 24, 2017

Dear Myalogists, I do watch more than Power. And to prove it, we are gonna start recapping a show we should have recapped loooooong ago, when its creator, ISSA RAE, begged me too. Or maybe I told her excitedly that I was gonna recap her show, like she should give a fuck, and she was like “oh, okay….you, uh, you should,” as she inched away from me nervously. We girls, tho….call me, when you read this, mama! I’m not sure how this is gonna go, as the show isnt super plot intensive like the saga on Starz, but its too close to home to not do anything, so week to week, it could be anything! Could be a Win/Loss Tally. Could be 5 questions. Could be 1 long ass question…just lets go on this ride together! So, for Issa….. Insecure is back! The show that made so many black girls see themselves or their friends returned to form Sunday night! If you don’t watch, Ill do you a quick solid. Watch this: Lawrissa Okay good. So our Awkward Black Girl is still awkward as fuck.She goes on several horrible dates that we have all been on as we wait for our honorable boyfriends to return to us after they found out we had lunch with a male co-worker from seven jobs ago and felt horribly betrayed and cheated on even tho they always sticking their dic—I mean after a bad breakup in which you miss them terribly. Just passing the time, ordering steaks and an extra dessert for lil man man…..But we all know that those dates are poor substitutes. Issa tries desperately to connect with Lawrence, texting him bout his Uno cards, seeing if he wants to come by and grab his old Best Buy badge, and asking if he wants the one sock she found in her panty drawer. But Lawrence is still hurt and STILL FUCKING THAT CHICK THAT LOOKS LIKE EVERY CHICK I HAVE HATED IN LIFE, while wearing out his and his air mattress’s welcome at his boy Chad’s house. He’s not biting anything Issa casts before him and maintains his cool distance…til he cant. As luck would have it, a jury summons arrives for Lawrence and Issa finally has her in! He says he will come by after work the following day. GOT’EM! Upon being told by Molly that men only want you when you have another dick inside you when you are doing well, Issa decides to throw a raging “winedown” where everyone brangs a frand and gets blasted on Rossi. She watches the door all night, hoping that he will appear, but he doesn’t show up because he’s on a date with Ugh….but wait! He does come, after the party and after his date when she and her apartment is looking fuckT (that’s when they love us tho, right ladies?!) She meekly opens the door. He meekly retrieves his things. And then he unmeekly throws: her down; and his dick in her. WOWZA. I felt that one y’all. What I also felt was that quick cum and pull out kiss on the forehead and nervous exit. Take me to heaven and then plunge me to hell! You muthafucka you. Molly is Only White In Name Our b-plot brings us our favorite sidekick and Lil Rel Howrey! Our hometeam is doing big things out here! Saving black folks from the Sunken Place, repping his TSA set and now playing a co-worker of Molly’s who I HOPE we will see all season long. Molly accidentally opens a white male co-workers check and sees that he’s making way more than her. Raise your hand if you can relate. Is that every black woman reading this at this very moment whose hands I see? Remind me one day to tell you how a man was hired for a job “somewhere” where he doesn’t know how to execute all of his responsibilities, yet had his superior tell his team member, don’t worry, I’ll do it for him. Yeah. Anyhoo…that was all going on with her. Oh, she took Issa’s suggestion to heart, she is now seeing a therapist who has zero time for her issues. Lawasha – doesn’t exist anywhere other than her head. And good because Tasha LOOKS LIKE EVERY CHICK I HAVE HATED IN LIFE. She’s so thirsty. So ready. So loving. So supportive. So ill-equipped to deal with the fire and brimstone that’s bout to rain down on her thirsty assed life. Lawrence spends his weekends blowing her back out, but wont buy her a taco. HOW SAD. Barf. Sitting there with her hounddog sad fucking eyes begging to go out on a Thursday. UGH. She represents EVERYTHING I hate in a woman and if you relate to her, I hate your ass too. It looks like she may win – briefly – since Lawrence’s ass took her out on a date. But I’ll spend every Sunday praying on her downfall. Doctor’s Notes Could anyone else watch a show about Kelly and Issa’s Blood Neighbor? That old lady told Issa her ankles were ashy. Regina Hall aint just gonna show up on a show inside our show, is she? LOVE HER. “Zaddy” is played…let it go. First one of you black women to host/invite me to a winedown – DIES.

Recaps

Powerful Thoughts 4.5

zyansaeed615 / July 24, 2017

OH MY LAWWWWWWWD LAWD LAWD LAWD MMHHHHMMMMMMM COURRRRRRTTTTTNEY! Ms. Kemp you done did your thing this week. After a season opening that’s left me kinda unmotivated to write, you kicked a muthafuckas teeth in several times. I apologize Madame Showcreator, I shalt not underestimate you again! This one had a lot, Myalogists…..Sex, Murder, Mayhem, Romance for the streets on dat ass….Julio’s fine fine ass. Sorry boys…..leggo! The Courtship of Tommy’s Father It’s all but obvious now. Teresi’s interest in Tommy led to the probably the second most (R.I.HELL HOLLY) shocking moment in Power history. Since being cut off from Jamie’s teat last week, the old man done conjured up some muthafuckin SHIT to get his hooks back in our hero. In a super duper elaborate cross and double cross plan that puts all of Jamie’s plans to collective shame, Teresi puts the cables on CO Darkness and tells him that Jamie and Proctor conspired to get him reassigned. Wishing for the moment Jamie would, CO Darkness is too happy to receive this news and runs up on Jamie – alone in the weight room. This fool starts talking cash money shit to Jamie, and references, ahem, “DICKING TASHA’S PUSSY OUT.” WHAT?! I’ve never heard that phrase in my life. OOOOOH that tickled me – but it aint tickle Jamie, who start beatin dat ass, eventually picking up a weight and bashing this nigga’s brains, skull, medusa oblongata, Malcolm X glasses, cerebral cortex, thoughts, fears, hopes, dreams, cornea, sclera, big white teefus and sinuses in. (y’all, I kept waiting for that bashing to end with the inevitable, “it was all a dream” moment, but nah.) Just at that moment Teresi and Black Baldhead Convict™ rush in, in what seems like an ambush on Jamie, but nope! Teresi turns on BBC™, chokes him the fuck out, makes Jamie trade his blood soaked clothes with the soon to be dead man, and stages a fight/suicide scenario. Looks like those experimental treatments for Ms. Teresi will continue. Jamie and Teresi are now linked forever, with Teresi demanding that Jamie give Tommy a cell to contact him with a slight admission that yes…he is Tommy’s dad….or something. The Stern Empire Strikes Back Everybody’s most hated smarmy assed nightlife impresario returns. After being tricked out of three of his clubs by his ex-wife and Jamie, Stern is back, with a sympathetic disposition and a shit load of cash he wants to float the family. First, he pays an unannounced visit to a visibly stunned Jamie and hits him with the old “hey millionaires always bail each other out” bullshit. Jamie ain’t going tho – cuz Jamie is speshul, Jamie is important and Jamie is smart – unlike his wife. Tasha also runs into Simon Stern, as she calls him, and is lured into his siren’s song offer of help. She takes his card, after reassuring him the family was good, and ends up calling even after she KNOWS Jamie has been freed. I didn’t get that move at all. Let ya manse get home and do what he does best – hustle to get your family back on top. You don’t take the white man’s help Tasha?! Ain’t you seen Claudine? Sprinting Like You Stole Something Paz says this to her sister near the top of the show in a conversation that left me feeling very bereft that I can’t speak Spanglish. Why yes Paz, she did steal something…she stole a man’s freedom! She spends the rest of this episode trying to right that wrong. First she sets up a meet with Proctor, and has him set up a meet with Jamie. She shares with Jamie and Silver that the feds are planning to confront him with Tommy’s loan, which they feel is payment for killing Greg, thus allowing them time to prepare a defense and get Jamie’s initials embroidered in his tie. She tries to share with Sandoval that the security tape proves Jamie’s innocence, but he ain’t hearing it. He tells her to have a tall glass of shut the fuck up and chill out. Having been burned by not speaking up about the traffic stop, Angie arranges to testify on Jamie’s behalf, accusing the prosecution of misconduct. She and the feds start turning on each other like two kids whose black ass mama just told them if they don’t fess up both of them getting it. The judge was SUPER disgusted by all of them and begrudgingly dismissed the charges against Jamie. I dropped one lone gangsta tear – our man in tight suits is coming home! Myalogy Minutes: DICK THAT PUSSY OUT. It bears repeating a second time. #ripcharliemurphy What the fuck is this Tasha/Silver shit? Please. Tommy got a big old bong, y’all. I <3 Tommy. “Chicago’s Losing Their Patience.” “Chicago Needs Answers Soon.” – Petyr knows our hearts, y’all. He hears our cry. Aint no handshake, bih – Proctor to Angie. Julio – Imma tell y’all one day how my date to the Power Premiere screening started some shit with me cuz he knew…he knew I couldn’t be in the same room with Julio. We may need to start paying attention to episode 5’s. Holly bit it in ep 3.5 Tariq’s grey fit was nice. See God, I told you I could say something nice about him weekly. Men’s reactions to their boy children fucking is so different than it would be to their girl children. Nice to see Tommy unburden himself of the Holly sitch. Speaking of which, when “family” is breaking down and confessing, a hug would be nice, Tasha Tommy downed the hell outta that juice. Julio saw Kanan…he better say something to the man that saved his life: Ghost. Dre keeps me confused. Who he working for? The feds sat there and attacked Angela, but kept her around all this time KNOWING she was a liability. Fight yaselves, dicks. How the fuck is Kanan walking round partying and shit and ain’t nobody said nothing to

Recaps

Powerful Thoughts 4.4

zyansaeed615 / July 17, 2017

We’re in this together. That’s not only the title of this episode, but a line that is spoken by nearly all of the characters: Angie to Tasha, Tasha to Jamie, Procter to Jamie and Tommy to Proctor. Last week, I briefly mentioned the mirrored dialogue in the show and that trend continues this week. Question before we start — who has the higher body count? Tommy, Hannibal Lecter or R.Kelly? I KEED. I KEED. Prolly Kelz tho, right? I SAID I WAS KIDDING! Let me stop. Nothing is funny bout that piece of shit. And now, for those of you that were more interested in how CO Darkness was gonna abuse Jamie than ol girl returning to her GOBSMACKINGLY GORGEOUS DRAGON LAIR…. Lawyers Gonna Lawyer This season the lawyers, Proctor in particular, are doing a bang up job. As Angela continues to get shitted on due to the DNA evidence and her box getting tossed, her male counterparts are making major moves. Proctor put the cables on black baldhead Fed, so hard he turned dude into the “Angry Black Man,” cast aspersions on his character and got the gun thrown out. Kim Tall Un Mak cast aspersions on the validity of Proctor repping Jamie and Tommy and got him thrown off the case. Angie cast aspersions on Jamie’s loyalty to his family, which placed small cracks in Tasha’s loyalty to Jamie. Proctor casts aspersions on Angie’s belief that Jamie is a selfish murderer, which causes her to review the security footage of Jamie’s Truth office, which shows that at NO point did Jamie hide that gun there…..which means someone else did. DUN-DUN-DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN. Tommy Teresi I mean that’s gotta be it right? This dude gotta be Tommy’s dad or someone super close to him. Tommy continues to be the most interesting character at this point in the season. To date we’ve seen him fuck and finesse Keisha; handicap the Dominican Shrek; threaten Dre; hold down Tasha and the kids; and murder a federal agent. Tommy bout that action, boss. He makes the drop per Jamie’s request and comes face to face with one of Teresi’s associates, who shows his hand and KINDA admits to a mob hit he and Teresi committed, which is enough evidence for Jamie to call Teresi’s bluff. When Teresi asks to see Tommy, Jamie not only tells him that aint gonna happen, but the blackmail is over too. Teresi may know who Jamie is, but Jamie also knows who Teresi is and what he’s done….acts that would put his dying wife’s life in further peril. Teresi appears to get the picture, but we never know. He also meets with Proctor, who tells him an agent has incriminating taped evidence on our boys. Tommy demands to be there when the tapes are played – one on which Tommy admits to killing Lobos with Ghost and one on which Tommy is heard murdering Ruiz. Fearful that the tapes will get out, Tommy shanks ol boy with no remorse in PROCTOR’s crib and wipes the bloody knife on Proctor’s shirt. They are TRULY in this together now. Julio Dangerfield No respect. Not from Tommy, who has zero tissues for his issues, especially when Dre’s money is late. Not from Dre, who gave no fucks to be on time for his drop and didn’t even bother to explain why he wasn’t at the primera meeting. Not from the Taino leader, who told him straight to his face told him he didn’t trust him to do his job and then turns around and talks shit to Dre about his distrust of Julio. I sincerely doubt any of this would be happening if Tommy was still distro. Haven’t any of these people heard of a learning curve? The White People’s President is getting one here in Murrica, surely someone as fine as Julio should be getting some adjustment time. Got Til It’s Gone St. Patrick Family bank accounts – gone. Weave Got the Fun – gone. Truth – gone. The feds are squeezing the life out of Jamie and his family, which is weird cuz his crimes aren’t financial, but hey…I’m not a lawyer. If someone got me on this one, hit me up. Myalogy Minutes Jamie looked fine as hell pushing that weight off his almost lifeless body. Four seasons in and I STILL love the theme song CO Darkness has killed before and will have to kill again at another prison if Proctor efforts are successful I hate this niglet lawyer. “Are you trying to get me to slap the fuck out you?” Slap her Tasha….or at least have your mom no one has seen lately do it. Kills me how Kanan’nem just sitting up in that old dead ladies apartment. Aint nobody looking for her? Kesha’s eyes are greener than Badu’s upon learning Tommy’s getting out her bed to sleep on Tasha’s couch. Someone told me the actress playing Raina is 21 which is crazy, cuz her body reads 11 and her face reads 211. Tariq’s probably gonna end up in jail just as Jamie is released. He is the only common thread at the burglarized houses. Speaking of that dick…he’s moved from hoops and syrup to hitting blunts and boo-tay. Alright Tommy! Gone and fuck the doubts out your girl! Silver being Jamie’s only way out terrifies me. Whatchall think?

Recaps

Powerful Thoughts 4.0

zyansaeed615 / June 16, 2017

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I’ve been quite neglectful of this space for a momentito. Trying to get some ducks in a row; make a dollar out of fifteen cents; find an exit route from indenture servitude, and get a window seat, cuz adulting has been too real lately. So real that when the homey Micaeh hit me up and asked me to attend a screening of the season premier of Power, I RSVP’d before she could send the next invite out. Adulting threatened my being able to attend, which pissed me the hell off, but a hail mary gave me a last minute save and I was able to make it. So welcome Myalogists, to the most vague Powerful Thoughts you will ever read. I will not spoil this for you because some of you know where I live and or work and I dont wanna have to kill any of you in self defense over a fucking tv show. I felt it was a really good solid premiere. Probably a 9 out of 10. The show we love is still in formation. It picks up exactly where it left off. You will not find yourself sitting there asking “what happened to blank?” nor “who’s doing the thing that they was doing last season?” Which means: Ghost is in jail. Angela is still an insufferable bitch. Tariq is still missing. Tommy’s still cool as fuck. Julio is still fine. Tasha’s wig budget has not increased. <redacted> is <redacted> and is probably gonna <redacted> with <redacted> and I was very happy bout that. What I will say is this: You will want to cuntpunch Angela. You will be sad everytime you see CharlieMurphy on the screen. You will want to hug Tommy. You will want to laugh at Ghost til you remember that you used to love him before he had a fucking plan every five minutes. Tasha will make you want to get all of your financial affairs in order even if your mate got that bag. You will wonder why Angie aint on the show. If you dont know who Angie is, your mother watched CBS soap operas and didn’t love herself. Thats all Im gonna say for now. Ill be back with the recaps after the episode airs. Til then…..

Recaps

Powerful Thoughts 3.10 ~ FINITO ~

zyansaeed615 / September 28, 2016

Well Powerfans, we’ve reached the conclusion of the third season. It felt very much like the second season of the wire to me….the “white” season, which on the surface, the first time around, was a nuisance and a distraction from my beloved towers and corner boys, but upon the conclusion of the series, stands up against any other season, except maybe the school system/kids season. I’m hoping that once its all said and done, this third season just seems like a sort of shit show, but once the story is concluded, will assume its rightful place in my perspective. Editor’s Note: Please know, I woke up at 6am Sunday morning, and discovered the world as I knew it had changed….this got damn episode was NOT on Comsucksfinity or whatever they calling themselves these days onDemand. I. WAS. LIVID. To the Facebook I go, and see folks commenting….WTF? Bada boom, bada bing, abracadabra, threats for passwords, I saw it. And still wrote this review three days later….I am a loser. Anyway, in the words of Stringer Bell, lets get to it muthafuckas…… Here Lies Gregex P. Keaton We open the show with Gregex showing up to the site where Ruiz’s body is found and retrieving the button recorder which has captured Tommy running his trap too damn much and killing Ruiz and his dumb hat. Cut to Greg in his office, cueing up the recorder when he is interrupted by some black dude I dont remember seeing before, who starts checking him for not reporting Ruiz’s death. Gregex rushes dude off, leaves and drops in on Nick Nolte, Homeland Security™, who breaks it to him that the tapes are inadmissible. He is not deterred, he feels like he can get folks to flip on each other. He first tries his bullshit with Ghost, who seems to have recovered some brain cells cuz he tells Greg he aint going…if he had something he would have arrested him. FOILED AGAIN MR. KEATON! He eturns home only slightly defeated, calls over Agent Sandoval and begins to tell him how he got the goods on Angie, Tommy and Ghost when he is interrupted by a phone call – its the Federales, calling to say, that they havent been in communication with anyone in his office, regardless of the fact that Sandoval said one of his tips regarding Lobos came from them. RUH ROH. Greg, now remembers Sandoval leaving Hugo’s crib and confronts him with this information, assuring him that they can make it alright if he just surrenders himself. Trump got these white men thinking they can save the world and make it great again, but who they cant save is themselves. Sandoval has not one second of time for that flimflam…..him and his silencer are gonna silence Greg permanently. He shoots and kills Greg and leaves the dirty Lobos burner phone in Greg’s desk. Agent Clarice Starling’s case is now officially closed. Gregex P. Keaton goes down as the mole. All Lean is Not Created Equal Tariq, (god is he still alive?) is yes, Mya, still alive and still hanging out with Kanan, who puts Tariq to the test to see if these hoes are indeed loyal…and SUPRISE CBreezy, they are. He tells Tariq to drop a package off to someone who seems to be an undercover officer. He cuffs Tariq and puts him in the back of a squad car driven by the biggest mama of them all, Jukebox. They aggressively question him, but he wont break. Kanan interrupts the interrogation and is visibly pleased by his lil pup. They all go back to dearly departed Meemaw’s crib for a celebratory round of lean, which is, according to Jukebox, mixed differently in DC than NYC. This superlean knocks Tariq clean out, while they decide what to do with him. Kanan wants to just have him break into his homies crib and make him a professional thief, but Juke has other designs….she wants to ransom, as a verb, Tariq, get Ghost to pay and still kill his kid, breaking him in his pockets and his heart. Kanan reluctantly (HUH? You killed your own son and was JUST bout to throw a baby out a window -literally) agrees and he and a comatose Tariq pose for a very rapey picture, which they promptly text to Tasha, who has just returned home from Truth and is desperately trying to reach an unreachable Ghost. The Best Laid Plans Our “hero” does have a plan and it includes him becoming the Black Spiderman to break into Greg’s crib to retrieve the recorder, after he sees Greg at the Ruiz murder scene. No sooner than he scales the fire escape and enters Greg’s apartment thru a window, does he find his dick FIRMLY in the dust…….He sees Angies drawls (draws?) and I am unable to can stop laughing….I love seeing folks catch the vapors…Its my PLEASURE. He looks up and sees the evidence wall targeting him and is completely broken. Just then Angie enters, he hides, and attempts to make a smooth getaway when she leaves, but — not gonna happen. He has to take off his pesky gloves to close Gregs window and make as much noise as possible while making his exit. Dropping shit down four stories, losing his Spidey sense and he aint even get what he came for. Shameful. He later meets up with Tommy and it appears Tommy is on his side, although I cant say I would be at this point. He tells Ghost that Milan plans to kill him later that night at Truth after he signs the Karen contracts, so they can continue business as usual with Dre at the helm of Truth. Fast forward to party time and everyone looking all shaaaaaab and happy, even Tasha, whose weave is remains a case. Ghost meets with Karen to sign the papers, under Milan’s watchful eye. Milan thinks its go time and steps to Ghost, ready to make his move, when Ghost tells

Recaps

Powerful Thoughts 3.9

zyansaeed615 / September 21, 2016

I’d like to open this recap with the following statement meant to convey my maturity and lack of hubris: I TOLD YALL MUTHAFUCKASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! THE RETURN OF GHOST AND T. Ahem….. Penultimate episode here, which I felt was anything but ultimate, but hey…….im here to report and judge the show, not write it. I will say Court and Co have done an amazing job of making me love Tommy and hate Ghost…which at the start of the show was inconceivable to me. Now its hard to remember when I used to cheer for Ghost and want to see him to be great. He used to call you on your cellphone Hugo’s cellphone is in Angela’s clutches and she is making little headway figuring out what to do with it. As fate would have it, Sandoval calls it while she is holding it in her hand and she answers it. No one speaks on the other end, but she hears the chopper that’s flying overhead their building, on her end and the callers end. Sandoval does as well and disconnects the call. After meeting up with Jamie, outside in public while wearing their invisibility cloaks and learning Gregex was at Tommy’s house questioning Kate, she goes to her pasty butt boyfriend and tries to put her butter pecan rican on him. Known to us, but unbeknownst to her, Greg will take the ass, but he’s still on her trail. While she is sleeping, he goes into her briefcase, finds the cell and takes a pic of the sim card so he can have his buddy Agent Medina run it later. That boy is quicka than that thang yall! Have you ever tried to go thru ya people’s phone while they in the next room. Hands all shakey, mouth all dry, fumbling….OH THATS ONLY ME HUH? Yeah, Okay. Anyway, he meets with Medina and gets some info that leads him to a store near Hugo’s crib. He arrives there just in time to see Sandoval leaving Hugo’s crib, where he removed a pic of him and his wife and hopefully his only connection to Hugo. Greg is all GOLLY GEE and trying to figure out why Sandoval would be there. No Love in the Club In the season’s most meandering pointless subplot, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz kantos returns demanding sterns invite list zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz ghost got a plan zzzzzzzzzzzz julio stashing drugs in the cocky white boy club zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz ghost busts up cocky white boys/karen meeting zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz cops arrive zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz cocky white boys arrested zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz big party back on at Truth zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Reunited and it feels so dumb It’s career day at the St. Patrick kids school and James St. Patrick is up there in all his tailored suit glory talking bout the challenges of being a club owner and the adverse affect it can have on your loved ones. Tariq dont give a fuck; texting his boy Slim Fug to hook up later while his dad is up there talking…but his Mama gives fucks….many confused, contorted, ugly face fucks. After hitting the club kids where it hurts and stealing his club business back, Ghost returns home triumphant. Tasha is liquored up on wine when he gets there and congratulates him on beating the competition and keeping them safe from Milan. She’s so grateful in fact, she rewards him with the gift of her open legs and as many ugly faces as she can muster. That shit was hard for me to watch, which is becoming the norm for me and Power sex scenes. She must have literally gotten her brains fucked out, because no sooner than Ghost leaves, does she pick up the phone and tell Tommy that Ghost is working to eliminate Milan and must be stopped, even tho she just thanked him for working to eliminate Milan. Fine. Tasha…we forgave you fuckin round with Dumbface Shawn, ya man’s was dickin around with bimbos (shouts out to Colin Powell), but this is just STUPID. Don’t enter the Game of Dummies…the field is too crowded. Ebony and Ivory do NOT go together in perfect harmony This week finds me sad again at the deterioration of Ghost and Tommy’s relationship. The show opens with them sitting across from each other, Ghost questioning Tommy like a jealous lover bout why he aint return his call. Aint this a bitch? Actually, aint this a man? Demanding the truth while lying to someone’s face. Tommy tells him that he went to Milan’s warehouse to get closer to him. He also lets Ghost know that Ruiz is becoming a problem, refusing to sell anything until he sits down face to face with Milan to get a better understanding about why the product has to change. Ghosts assures him that Ruiz will fall in line, because – ALTOGETHER NOW – he has a plan. GOT dammit I’m sick of this man and his plans. Ghost reminds Tommy its of the utmost importance that they stick together and keep each other in the know, even tho we know he refuses to tell anyone, anything, anyplace, anytime – ever. Tommy later arranges the meeting with a wire wearing Ruiz and Milan, during which he receives a phone call from a “dick for brains” – literally- assed Tasha, who lets him know that Ghost JUST told her that he was working on a plan to rid them of Milan permanently. This pisses Tommy off to NO END. Earlier in the ep, he defended their friendship to Milan. He told Milan that Ghost was all on board with the team and that he’s just being cautious. Milan tells Tommy, all that is fine, but if Ghost aint right, Tommy will meet his own untimely demise. This leads to Tommy giving Ruiz a ride home from the meet to his final destination. In the car, Tommy vents his frustration over Ghost’s latest betrayal, confessing that Lobos is dead, and eventually killing Ruiz – ALL ON THE TAPE RECORD. He returns to Truth to tell Ghost that he

Recaps

Greenleafian Thoughts 1.10

zyansaeed615 / August 12, 2016

YO! I’ve been watching Greenleaf. I think you should too. If you are already watching, yay! KEEP READING. YOU IS SMART! YOU IS KIND! YOU IS…wait…wrong black woman. This is an Ofrey joint…not a Viola one. If you are not, walk with me, wontcha? Let’s go out the door and you can come back when you’ve caught up. Still here? LETS GO! Greenleaf is the story of a southern black mega church family dealing with themes common in the black community – infidelity, closeted homosexuality, incest, rape, teen drug use, suicide, police brutality, and ignit assed mommas. Actually, that makes it an All American story…and not just a black one. Grace “GG” Greenleaf is our protagonist here, the prodigal daughter instead of son. A talented preacha since birth apparently, (altho I dont think anyone other than Jeremiah Wright could be that light skinnded and still be able to bring down the house. I like my passas blue black), GG left the family fold after uncovering some horrible family secrets, and became a journalist. She returned to the family, much to the chagrin of her mom, to hold some feets to the fire and get some justice against those who have brought harm to her family, namely, the suicide of her sister Faith. This beautiful muthafucka here….Lynn Whitfield is doing the DAMNDEST thang as “Lady” Mae Greenleaf, HBIC of the Greenleaf family and first lady of the Calvary churchhouse. She is FIERCELY protective of her husband, Bishop Greenleaf, who I will be referring to as “Passa” for obvious reasons, her brother Mac, and all of her dark skinned children. She hates Grace in a way you have to see to believe. Keith David or David Keith, whatevs….he is MY DUDE since the getback. And this man is matching La Whitfield note for note on this show. Head of the family and the church, Bishop James Greenleaf, SEEMS to be a righteous man, with a heart of gold. He is passionate about his flock, and equally as passionate about living a grand, austere life. He, unlike his wife, is TOTALLY devoted to Grace and is over the moon about her return to the flock. However, his finances, freedom and health are under attack. This piece of shit is Robert “Mac” McCready, brother of Lady Mae and whatever Oprah’s characters name is, money man of the church, RKelly fan, Bill Cosby enthusiast, Subway devotee and the man who is pretty much responsible for Faith’s suicide, due to the fact that he doesn’t understand that you should really not rape people; you should really especially not rape lil girls; and you should super really especially not rape lil girls related to you. Requisite weak ineffective marginalized black man – CHECK. This is Jacob. He is ruled by his mom. He is ruled by his dad. He is ruled by his wife. He is ruled by his dick. Had his preaching powers stripped once his affair with a white chick was revealed – by his wife. Although I think it had more to do with GG coming home, than his affair. Whats a requisite weak ineffective marginalized black man without a shrill, cold, aggrieved, power hungry black woman? Enter Kerissa Greenleaf, wife, mother, bitch, Spelman grad. I present that last descriptor without commentary. #CAU She wants her man to be so much more than he even thinks he can be and SHOCK, she hates GG. This is baby sis Charity Greenleaf Satterlee, played by a Winans, so sanging scenes are mandatory. Largely dismissed by her entire family, even when she has something of worth to say. She somehow got pregnant by her husband, Kevin, a man more interested in Grindr, the new male homeless shelter director and every human with a penis than her. Here he is, doing what he does most of the time when he is not ogling hot guys and staring wistfully off into the distance. And just to make sure #teamlightskin goals are met, this slice of melba toast is Noah. Head of Security at the Church. He is currently engaged to some chick, but crazy in love with GG, who left him when the rainbow wasn’t enuff. He is helping her to take down Mac. He also just broke down and gave her the hot beef injection. He is hella lame to me. But I like my melanin challenged men with some scars or something. He has as much flavor as one of those white people fried chicken du jour places that are springing up all over Chicago. OH SNAP, how I forget Movah? Ofrey guest stars as Mavis McCready, despised enemy of her sister Mae and brother Mac, doting aunt to GG, and the one to put a battery in her back to get her to come back home to Memphis to bring down Mac, who she been knew aint right. She owns a blues lounge in Memphis and rocks a mean crochet job. These are the kids – Zora, Jacob’s daughter and Sophia, GG’s daughter. They are cute. They are intelligent. They do typical teenaged shit – like snort Adderall and sneak out the crib. And surprisingly they do not get on my nerves. Imma move on, cuz the intro was kinda long this week, and this wasn’t the best show (it was kinda slow) to kickoff the recaps, but hey…..ya get what ya get. Myalogy Minutes: Passa done shot Mac IN DA CHURCHHOUSE, cuz GG told him bout how he molested Faith. Dont worry tho…sadly the bullet went straight thru, so Mac aint gonna die. BUT, Mac is going to jail on molestation charges and he said if he go, Passa going with him….dun dun DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH. GG called the cops anyway even tho both Passa and Mac asked her not to. Cue, passa walkin out in cuffs. Cue Lady Mae cutting the hell out of GG with her

Recaps

Powerful Thoughts 3.4

zyansaeed615 / August 9, 2016

Hey y’all, Hey! Today we will be headed into heretofore unchartered territory here at Myalogy: TV RECAPS. I know….earthshattering. First up is the show that real tv connoisseurs were excited about prior to its premiere and the one the rest of y’all started watching at the end of season one after Taraji and Lightskin Lunatic got y’all amped then went on summer vacation, at which point you binge watched the season, then walked into every black gathering everywhere armed with the question: Y’ALL WATCH POWER? Followed with the inevitable: ITS WAY BETTER THAN EMPIRE!!!! As if…. Here we are 4 eps into the season and I have thoughts in no particular order. 1. Why is Ghost so fucking dumb with this Andre thing? Ghost can be an incredible dude. We’ve seen him get out of some tight jams up until this point. He is so smart, sometimes I don’t even know what he is doing (anyone know why kantos was fired? make it go down in my dm then). The way he outsmarted Stern and attempted to get rid of his network was brilliant. Leaving someone that tried to kill you alive, wasnt the smartest thing, but hey…..my dating history speaks to the fact that bad choices happen to smart people….ahem. But this Dre thing? Why is he trying to wife a hoodrat? He raised his last protege from a pup and Sean still turned on him. What makes him think Dre, who worked for Kanan is gonna be any different? Nword keeps telling you and showing you he bout dat life, which you keep trying to talk him out of. Fuck dre…let him hang out in the bbq spot……who you need to be trying to cuff is……. 2. HOLLY, THE BEAST. This is who Ghost should want on the team. She is one of the few people on this show that unapologetically makes moves in her best interest. I want those earrings, I’m taking them. Mr. St. Patrick? HA, Fuck you! You Ghost to me, fool. She is seemingly the only person in her house that knows that Lobos intends to kill her and her manse, and she’s like “FUCK DAT. He dont wanna kill his boy so we can live? Like the dog aint already dead? Cool. “Bae, im running to the store for some milk and cookies, BRB” Mama headed right on down to the Jamaicans, put the money on the table, took out a pic of Ghost and said “Finish HIM.” I aint mad…… 3. Y’all think y’all want a Michelle, but y’all really want a Candie. Hey Girlfrands! Any of yall riding for your manse the way Candie rides for Jukebox? I know I ain’t. She be frying shit in booty shorts risking grease burns. Drugging fools. Fucking fools. Nursing fools. Healing the hands of fools. And letting fools get her off without vomiting….all while having Asperger’s Syndrome. (I know Im not the only one that thinks she is a highly functioning mentally handicapped person. I just know it. Something is very off about her. ) She will do all of that, while still staying firmly #teamjukebox And some of y’alls chicks were actively planning to leave y’all for Mr. Steal Your Grandma. 4. Jamesgela is so soul crushing now. Boring sex. Them both saying “I had good intentions” regarding her going to see Tasha/Him paying her rent – the height of passive aggressiveness, which can be the death knell of a relationship. Boring family dinners. Monotone voices. “Remember when” conversations, which Tony Sopranro smartly said are the lowest form of coversation. Her own admission that they weren’t gonna make it. Him non-convincingly reassuring her that they would. Ugh….please. Him calling Tash HIS WIFE in an argument- HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. They are a prime example of the saying “cheating ain’t no fun, when you ain’t got nobody to cheat on.” He will be back between Tash’s legs before this season is over. Bet dat. 5. I’m surprised I can see after all this horrid sex. COURTNEY KEMP. Ms. Kemp. Courtney. Court – Im a Court too, so I feel I can call you that. I dont ever wanna see 50’s dick again. Not a shadow of it. Not its imprint. Not just the tip. Not nothing. Dont do that. Ever. Dishonorable mention: Holly and Tommy….the only time Tommy seems to know he is in danger is when he’s inside Holly. That was some seriously depressing sex. That coke fueled threesome Tommy had when Holly left him that time, MORE OF THAT. Musings….. HE just entered the room as Holly and Tommy are fucking and exclaims: SHE IS SO FUCKIN UGLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #baeissmart What made Angie go to that womans house? “You gonna be doing for Ghost the rest of your life.” – HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, snaps for the Kid! I hate Greg and I wanna punch his douchey ass face, but he’s right to wanna destroy them. OINTB lady! 50cent looks so handsome….with that mask covering his face RIP lil black boy…even Stevie Wonder saw that coming Shouts out to Jukebox saying the white boys did it! Jamie got a snapchizzle yall! #followhim Keisha, last season you creamed all over yourself when Tasha told the story bout how she hid a gun for Jamie when they first started dating..now you scared of guns? Park it, Thotyanna. Ghost aint never got time to have the right conversation Crooked Priest, God only cares about one commandment, but you never said what it was. How me and Tommy gonna get into heaven now? Ghost is a magical negro. He can show up and take out two assassins with two shots, run back to the club, change into a suit, pop some Effen and never break a sweat. Jesse did say black people were magic. Joakim Noah done took up actin yall! SEE YA NEXT WEEK.